that's not even remotely funny
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/italy_dictataor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I (Australian dad) have been playing chess remotely against my primary school pen-pal (from Czech Republic) for almost 2 decades. I finally beat him yesterday!

Czech mate!

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sassaphras
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My grown son asked me how I never seemed to lose the tv remote when he was growing up.

I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter... A remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Njensen58
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
The jokes I’ve heard on Zoom aren’t remotely funny
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
The inventor of the remote control has died.

They just don't know where he is.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mubassie
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...

It’s the β€œClicker Picker Upper.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I trained to work remotely.

Now that I'm far away, I should train back home.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevographic
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
First time I bought a universal remote....

....I said to myself, "This changes everything."

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife: Babe you keep putting the remote in random places...

Me: Correction, I keep putting the remote in "remote" places. That's where it belongs right?

I got a eye roll and a sigh, score.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magoogooo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Where does the remote go when you can’t find it?

To a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJ_Degen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
A remote place
πŸ‘︎ 350
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elerizo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Just started my new job as a security guard. The supervisor told me my job would be to watch the office at night.

I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My remote control batteries died today.

So I gave them away, free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YasookMadeek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Just don't drop the remote
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/u_Adi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Remotely Yours

So we had this issue yesterday where secure shell commands were failing from our newly enabled backup system to a downstream application.

I logged in manually using the correct credentials to confirm the keys were fine, but I noticed it was the first time in known hosts, so i typed β€œyes” to put the entry in and figured that would fix it.

When the problem came back today, I was surprised at first, but then it hit me...

Same ssh -t different server...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCandIO
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...

I’m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Just bought one of those β€˜All4one’ remotes......

...thought to myself - this changes everything.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashypants82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Remote control
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Molbbo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog has learned out to use the TV remote...

All she does is paws and unpaws.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NBE01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
The chances of seeing two together is quite remote.
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HypnotizeD_X
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.

She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.

It’s a real game changer

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/struggling-here
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I couldn't resist the sexy TV remote

It was an instant turn on

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bsISS1243
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I got myself a universal remote control

And man, it changes everything.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LMF5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, I thought to myself,

this changes everything

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/well_I_swan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Found this gem when sitting in a vacant cube in an office I travelled to this morning to work remotely.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stahrcrash
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If I could just bring one thing with me to a remote deserted Island..

..then I probably wouldn't bother going.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was riding to a beach in this remote part of the district and stopped at this run down petrol pump

A kid was manning the pump and I asked if they take cards He replies with a straight face : No we give it back after swiping

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/regulaslight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My 7 year old son is remote learning and I walked into the room to find him logged into his class with his back facing the computer screen. I asked, β€œwhat are you doing?”

He said, β€œI’m back to school!”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog likes stepping on my tv remote

Somehow he'll only ever paws it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mozzatits
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?

Press the paws button.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The most remote place on earth
πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MONKEY_COCK_EATER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a cats favourite button on the tv remote?

Paws

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardynolando
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle always jokes that reaching the remote is middle aged yoga.

I say, Yoga?! Pff, that’s a stretch.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My family can’t seem to find the tv remote. They’ll never find where I hid it.

It’s in a very remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I hid the control for the TV

I’m not even remotely sorry

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
TV repair during the pandemic has been pretty easy.

It’s mostly remote work.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
He’s not remotely sorry
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hedginho
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't I find the TV remote??

It was in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamDHogge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Everything was fine until I got a universal remote

It changed everything

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a universal remote for Christmas. This changes everything.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me where the remote is.

I told her it’s in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoSasquatchy
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I bought a universal remote control...

...I thought to myself "This changes everything."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself "Well, this changes everything"

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I brought myself a universal remote and thought to myself well this changes everything.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashwinvias
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.

Well, this changes everything.

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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