Every day at the end of rehearsal, my director friend takes out a sandwich to eat.

He then points at it, and says, β€˜That’s a wrap, everybody.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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The orchestra's performance wad canceled right after the last rehearsal was done.

It was quite disconcerting to everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Rehearsal dinner Dad joke

Dad: you're a sheep! Son: what? Dad: I said ewe and you looked!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aerialfm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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So our conductor got us today in rehearsal

While marking the role,

Him: "Is John here?"

Me: He'll be late. He's at a fencing competition.

Him: That's fine. I won't let it cause me a fence

Cue groaning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badoodish
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
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My Grandfather's Rehearsal dinner joke

I called to invite my grandfather to my upcoming rehearsal dinner. His response: "I don't need to rehearse eating dinner, I've done it for eighty years!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForcedReception
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Rehearsal dinners... when two dads combine their awesome powers

Wedding rehearsal dinner this past Friday. Father-of-the-groom is picking up the tab and the check arrives.

Father-of-the-bride: Hope you've got a good Visa!

Father-of-the-groom: Nope. I'm in the country illegally.

All dads in attendance laugh boisterously. Groom laughs while bride wonders what the hell she's gotten herself into.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtsjr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
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He's not a dad but I'm pretty sure I got dadjoked at rehearsal this evening.

I lead the worship team at church and I'm the only one with a key to the instrument room. I went to get the key and when I came back, my keyboardist was banging his head on the door over and over.

I said, "were you just gonna try breaking it down like that? I do have a key."

He replied, "well, I thought I was making good headway."

He may have a head injury. Also, he's in his fifties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lady_S_87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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I can't wait until the pandemic is over, and I can see the pun-based show my local theater troupe has been rehearsing.

It's a play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Eve rehearsed this new joke before telling Adam, but Adam finds it unoriginal.

Because Eve’s dropping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MogolianShrimp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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My wife plays violin. I used to play trumpet. Last night we talked aviation.

My wife plays violin and her first rehearsal with a new orchestra is near. She had access to an electronic copy of the music, but wondered whether the orchestra would distribute paper copies at the rehearsal. For orchestras, the section leaders decide when everyone's bows will be moving up vs. down and annotate the music accordingly. Copies of the annotated music are distributed to the players. As a trumpet player who's never needed that kind of annotation, I've always been able to use the originals.

Wife: "String players never play from the originals because we have bowings."

Me: "And wind players have Airbuses!"

Wife: "That joke was just plane awful."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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I recently got a job in a funeral home.

I've had some difficulty loading and unloading the coffins from the vehicles, so I decided to practice.

Now I spend all day rehearsing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sirnogbert88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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On my first day as undertaker, I managed to drop the coffin as I was loading it onto the car.

My boss was supportive and told me I just had to rehearse it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Berd89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Dad joke at play practice

At play rehearsal we were blocking out a scene, the director explained during this particular scene the lights on one portion of the stage would dim to highlight the two with solos. One cast member asked, "When the lights go dim on us, do we freeze?" one of the older fellows in the cast cut in, "No, we'll still have the heat on." Loved it.

Edit: play rehearsal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaleDavid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2013
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There are three classes of cheerios

There are three classes of cheerios, the lower class (plain ol' cheerios), the middle class cheerios (frosted), and the elite class (honey nut). One soggy morning in Seattle, a plain cheerio awoke in his single room apartment. He looked out at the still sleepy city, blanketed in a mist of rain. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes on, this would be the day. He stood propped against the bus stop, smoking a cigarette. "God I have got to stop this habit." He thought to himself. Glancing back and forth at the bustle of cheerios, he saw her. She looked about 25, devastatingly gorgeous, and he could smell the honey from where he stood. "Excuse me ma'am," his voice quivered, "I - I think you might be the most beautiful cheerio I have ever seen." She smiled and her otherwise golden brown face grew red. " This is a long shot, but will you marry me?' She was obviously caught off guard by this, but her red lips formed the word, "Yes." They raced through the morning mist of the city, and arrived at her fathers house. The cheerio bent down in front of her father. "Sir, I would like to ask for your blessing in marrying your daughter" "No! You are a regular cheerio and my daughter needs a high quality honey nut" he snapped. "But sir." "No means no damnit!" "Sir this is very unrea-" "You come back a honey nut and you'll have my blessing, my daughter is not about to marry a low life like you." The cheerio sprinted home, tears streaming down his face. He fumbled against the lock and sprawled out on his bed. When he awoke it was early, his sheets had a dark silhouette from his wet jacket. He sat up and lit a cigarette. "Damn." he sighed to himself. Walking in front of his mirror, he noticed something different. His body was frosted! He had become a frosted cheerio! He darted out the door without shoes, reaching the honey nut household in no time at all. He banged on the door, and the beauty's father answered. "Sir I am a changed cheerio! I'm frosted!" he exclaimed. Her father had a stern look on his face. "You think you are any better? The dirt on my boots are worth more than you." he hissed. The old honey nut slammed the door on the young frosted. He heard the deadbolt click. The newly frosted cheerio didn't take the same way home. He stood on the edge of a bridge, feeling the cool autumn wind on his sugar coated skin. Was he really going to go through with this? Was it worth it? No he was a frosted cheerio now. He couldn't get the girl, but he was a changed cheerio. He

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R1pply
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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Dropped this one a week ago. I don't even have a girlfriend.

At a rehearsal for my choir, the director made some last minute changes to the standing arrangements. For a couple songs, we wouldn't be standing in the usual Soprano Alto Tenor Bass formation, but we'd we standing in a way that we were surrounded by people of different sections. As you can imagine, shifting around 4 rows of risers is a bit hectic, so I asked my friend where exactly I had to go.

He told me, "As long as you're mixed, it's okay."

A wave of dark intentions washed over my brain.

I looked him dead in the eyes and said, "But I'm Chinese".

It took him a full two seconds to register what I just said.

What in the actual fuck is happening to me right now?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatcat22able
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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Saw a marching band today and wondered...

Do marching band performers describe rehearsal as a normal, hum"drum" activity?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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I'm a classical musician. My dad just emailed this to me.

Sorry, it's a visual pun.

It should also be mentioned that I'm had my first rehearsal for the local Bach Festival last night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghoti023
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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Grandpa dropped this one before my dad had the chance to lay it down

Me: "I think I'm going to wear my electric-blue tie for the rehearsal dinner." Grandpa: "Where the hell are you gonna plug it in all night?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/menwithrobots
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2014
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Since we're on fish puns...

We took a plastic fish to a marching rehearsal at my university last year. Afterwards, we proceeded to have a conversation that was one pun after another.

"Fish. That is all."

"Just for the halibut."

"Oh for the love of cod, can we not bring this here?"

"Seriously, I will krill every last one of you."

"I'm not squidding with you guys. This scampi happening any more."

"Sorry. I couldn't resist the oppor-tuna-ty."

"You're floundering."

"Why, pollocks! I'm just getting started!"

"Don't worry. His shark is worse than his bite."

"Don't trout my pun ability."

"'Pun ability' my bass! You wouldn't know a fish joke if it sprat you in the eye!"

"I might need to go see a sturgeon. These jokes are killing me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaws9182
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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At a hotel for a wedding

I was at a hotel for my best friend's wedding. After the rehearsal dinner we were in the lounge drinking (with permission from the hotel staff) and I went to the bathroom.

The bathrooms on the lobby level were right next to the ice machine, and we'd heard from another guest they were really fancy. I get back and my friend asks me how they were.

I showed him this picture and said "they were pretty cool"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingcarpet23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
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Is there a prize for the most laborious set-up?

Down on his farm, Old MacDonald was hosting his annual talent contest amongst his animals and announced that, this year, the theme was Shakespeare.

All of his livestock had been busily and excitedly rehearsing because they knew that 1st prize was to be a gigantic gazebo festooned with flashing electric lights, a glitter ball, a speaker system and turntables.

Competition was fierce; the chickens performed Othello, the horse chose Hamlet, the sheep Romeo and Juliet and the cow performed Richard III.

After much deliberation, the farmer and his wife ordered a hushed silence and announced: "Cow is the winner of our disco tent."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffGoldbuns
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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Christmas Dad-joke

I'm a pianist in a jazz band. Today, our drummer was running late. A bit into the rehearsal, he runs in and the band stops playing.

Drummer: sorry I'm late... what are we playing? Leader: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." Drummer: well, that's an awfully nice thing for you to say to someone who just showed up late to your rehearsal, thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wittybanditti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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