my grandfather said this today on the dinner table and i was the only one that found it hilarious for no reason at all
G : what type of apples grow on trees ?
my dumbass : idk red and green ?
G : all of them do
wheezes
For some reason most of my friends didn't like it
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Wife asked me for reasons behind my laziness, I have more than one.
The reason dogs make noise but trees don't is complicated...
But long story short, it's because it's a different kind of bark
What is the number one reason for dry skin
I came up with the top ten reasons you shouldn't pee on an electric fence...
Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will "punch" a fish for no reason other than spite
That's called Toxic Molluskulinity.
2 main reasons I don't trust people.
-
I don't know them.
-
I know them.
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, “I’ll give you a reason to cry!?" I always thought they were going to hit me...
...not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
Your uncle had some really crazy reasons for joining the railroad.
Found this on r/cursedcomments - the post (by u/Atom596 ) was removed for some reason so I couldn't crosspost but wanted to give the op credit
There's just no reason for women to behave the way they do when they're on their period....
A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
The 20c making machine at The Mint suddenly stop working for no reason.
It just doesn't make any cents
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water.
Did you hear the one about a guy who threw a pork dumpling at his friend for no reason?
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland
What do you call a crazy reason for robbing a train?
Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...
...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?
The reason there is so few organ donors is
There are several reasons that a brain fetish is weird.
First one that comes to mind....
Intervals aren't the first reason to learn to play an instrument.
But they are a major second.
I've always hated Santa for some reason...
Doctor finally diagnosed me with Claustrophobia,
I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.
His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.
I was wondering what the reason is that dolphins exist...
I mean, what’s their porpoise?
The reason Superman can't defeat Dracula...
is because he can't go near the crypt tonight.
For some reason I always get sick during holidays.
I must have a weekend immune system...
Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why
There were a lot of dead ants in my drink for some reasons
So I guess you could call them my ant tea bodies
And you can guess the reason why.
Credit: u/derpytomato05 from r/funny(couldn't xpost for some reason)
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.
I just can’t put my finger on it.
Reason why you should take up marathon training
It will help you in the long run.
Statistically do you know the main reason for divorce?
The real reason new cell phones break easy is because of gravity.
No phone back then was subject to multiple Gs and now we're up to 5G!
The reason people won't wear a mask is because they have
I love Stranger Than Fiction, and here's one of the many reasons why.
There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
There are two reasons you shouldn't drink toilet water
Number one, and number two
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