Rare pun opportunity, I think I nailed it
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︎ Jan 15 2020
An rare pun
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︎ Apr 12 2019
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, βI like it well done.β
I said, βThanks. That means a lot.β
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Doc: "Sir, you've caught a very rare disease. "
Me: "How rare?"
Doc: "You pick the name.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Why do I always cook my deer meat at medium rare instead of medium?
There is so much more flavor that way, Itβs really a game changer.
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︎ Oct 16 2020
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Used military vehicles in higher levels of trim are rare.
All I can find are base models.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Jokes about white sugar are rare.
Jokes about brown sugar, demarara.
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︎ Sep 26 2020
So the customer asks the chef if anyone orders steak raw and the waiter replied βyeh but thatβs rareβ
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︎ Aug 22 2020
How do you catch a rare bird?
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Itβs very rare that a defibrillator fails.
But when it does, no one is shocked.
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︎ Jan 26 2020
Eating rare chicken is dangerous, and even lethal sometimes.
It would be a pretty fowl way to go.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My co-worker Nicholas is rarely late for work meetings, but it often shows up within 2 minutes of the meeting start time
I guess he likes to show up in the nick of time.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I like mine medium-rare
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Why do ants rarely get sick?
Because they have so many anty-bodies
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Steak jokes are a rare medium well done.
Nevermind, that was raw. Let me cook something else up.
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︎ Jun 29 2020
A rare picture of ground in its natural habitat
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Donald Rump
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︎ Oct 15 2020
I rarely tell dad jokes
But the times when I do, he laughs
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︎ Mar 10 2020
How rare is an excellent father?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
My friend is an artist who specializes in sketching pesky insects. She also rarely showers...
She draws flies and gnats.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
How do you cook a bear?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
Rare photograph of The Milky Way viewed from Mars
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︎ Jan 17 2020
What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions?
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︎ May 15 2020
I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people
It was a rare medium, but well done
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.
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︎ May 08 2020
My father was in the army...
And I remember he used to be stationed in exotic places all over the world. Once he came back home with a very exotic looking bird. I asked him what kind of a bird it was and he told me itβs a rare almost extinct species called a Foux (pronounced Foo). This foux was the apple of his eye and he would take care of the bird as if it was his own child.
Sometime during this period the Foux began developing a real bad case of constipation and my father was really worried about it. He tried all kinds of medicines to make the Foux pass itβs bowels, but nothing was working.
One day, during this period, I woke up to a huge argument taking place between my parents. My mom was accusing him of cheating on her during one of his tours, she had found some pictures of him and another woman and he was denying it vehemently. I realized then that my father had been quite the philanderer and this wasnβt the first time he had been caught. My mom was trying to get him to just admit to his indiscretion.
βWhy donβt you just admit it Harryβ, she said;
but he stuck to his denial,
βYou think I could ever do something like this Sarahβ, he said.
Right then amidst all this ruckus, the Foux began to take a dump, in the middle of the living room.
My mom looked at the bird, then looked back at my dad and with a sense of resignation she just said βWell if the Foux shits...β
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...
There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area
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︎ May 11 2020
Very rarely will you meet a fully fledged Scott. Most of them are only Scott-ish
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︎ Jan 28 2020
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
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︎ Jan 20 2020
I rarely care about spelling mistakes online
I'm just not that typo guy!
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︎ Mar 12 2020
The cannibal living next to me caught and killed a clairvoyant...
He only put her in the oven for only half an hour though.
Apparently he likes his medium rare.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What happened to the steak that fell down?
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︎ Jul 20 2020
A rare sea bass has been spotted
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︎ Dec 11 2019
A rare photo of the Milky way viewed from Mars.
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︎ Nov 28 2019
What do you call a whole grain thatβs zero calories but is rarely used?
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︎ Mar 15 2020
My friend keeps his rare coin collection where it could easily be stolen.
I mean, he has no common cents.
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︎ Jan 12 2020
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︎ Jan 28 2019
People say that self roasts should be rare
But i prefer them well done
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︎ Feb 15 2020
My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed
I told her it's unfair to make a judgment in less than a minute.
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︎ Jun 13 2020
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
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︎ Mar 12 2018
Sometimes I like my steak undercooked.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Jokes about sugar are rare...
Jokes about brown sugar: demerara
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︎ Aug 11 2020
At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak and my boss said, βI like it well done!β
I said, βThanks. That means a lot to me.β
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︎ Jun 30 2020
How do you catch a rare bird?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 09 2020
How does Darth Vader like his steaks?
Well, done done done, done da done, done da done
π︎ 9k
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︎ May 11 2020
I cooked a medium rare steak for my friend and he said, βI like it well done.β
I said, βThanks. That means a lot.β
π︎ 8k
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︎ May 22 2018
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