A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said “ sir I’m going to have to put you under arrest.” The guy then said
My grandpa just came over to my house with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. Miffed, I questioned, “Who's this guy?” Gramps chuckled and replied, "Who, him?"
"This is my hip replacement!"
Who is the most questioned man in the world?
Someone questioned the piece of cloth and fabric covering the lower half of my face
I told them “you’re masking me something I don’t have the answer to, why not mask someone else?”
Did you hear about the guy that robbed the library for every book they had? When questioned on how he did it he told authorities he basically talked the librarian into letting him. So i guess you could say he got a way with words.
The cops questioned me about the dangerous hacker on the loose.
My brother hit me with this after I questioned if he should be day drinking on a Wednesday.
"Don't worry, boss said it was ok"
He owns his own business.
Whenever grandpa was questioned...
I may not be right, but I am never wrong, except that one time. I thought I was wrong, but I was really right.
An Orca was questioned by the cods about a potential murder.
But he didn't admit to anything. His lips were sealed. https://imgur.com/ogcyNTN
(My dad came up with this one on the fly when we visited Monterey when I was a kid).
What did one tiger say to another tiger when his honesty was questioned?
I mustache you a question...
...?
Can you shave it for later?
Important questions being asked
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
I have a serious question...
So imagine you are transexual but suddenly one day you decide to stop being it. Then you are Trans former?
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.
I moustache you a question
Never mind I'll shave it for later...
I have a genuine question
Jen, you in the living room?
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
USPS Questions
Should tortillas be sent flat rate?
Is armor headgear sent over knight?
Is an addicts mail tracked?
Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate?
Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class?
Should the IRS send return receipts?
just wondering...
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
Question
Why is today not National ballerina day?
I mean it is 2-2 after all
What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?
I have one question for victims of ninjas...
Question: What are doldrums?
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
A simple question from my 6 year old son.
A meteorite is a small meteor, right?
Full credit to my son, he will truly make a great dad some day.
What did Obi Wan say to Luke when he was dating morally questionable women?
Your thots will betray you.
Dad joke
What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
U.C.L.A...
Dentists always ask dumb questions like “when’s the last time you flossed?”
Son: "Dad, what are condoms used for ?"
Dad: "To avoid such questions."
Wife (serious question): What is the difference between a date and a prune?
Me: one you get lucky and the other you don't.
She was mad enough to leave the room...
I’ve been trying to solve a complicated maths question to take my mind off my constipation. Today, using only a pencil and sheer determination...
Don't question the context.
My son was about to ask me 1 million questions about everything.
Police were questioning an egg
He couldn’t say anything, he was scrambling for words.
Which question can come to first, but never last?
What do you get when you cross a dad joke with rhetorical question?
The guy I suspect is a cannibal in the office always brings in something questionable.
Today was white chick in chili.
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...
Dr: We had to remove your colon
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months.
The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, you're brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.
What has questionable principles and flies?
Mike pence during tonight’s debate.
Can I axe you a question?
Never mind you’d chop at it.
Guys, I have a question. Me and a friend are arguing about the setting of the Ace Attorney games.
He keeps telling me its LA, but its gotta be Phoenix, right?
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
With the global warming raising the sea level, it is only a question of time for England to become Engsea.
Dad, can I ask you a question?
Dad, can I ask you a question?
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