I was walking through a quarry…

I said to the foreman, β€œThat sure is a big rock!”

β€œBoulder,” he corrected me.

So I stuck out my chest andΒ shouted,Β β€œTHAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the quarry that went out of business?

They hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JinTaisa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A month ago I was kidnapped because my husband is a wealthy landowner. It turns out, all the kidnappers wanted was one of his quarries. It's a very profitable quarry, to be sure, but still.

Now I know what it feels like to be taken for granite.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/--Koko--
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs inside a quarry?

Rocky!

Reposted to fix typo in headline.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Knivez51
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
How does one mine for data?

By quarrying a database!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.

Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.

A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"

The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.

Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.

He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."

She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was that all about?"

He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."

πŸ‘︎ 248
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Where are all the stone miners?

In quarry-ntine

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
I started working at a quarry

I said to the foreman, β€œThat sure is a big rock!” β€œBoulder.” So I stuck out my chest andΒ shouted,Β β€œTHAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Quarry that went out of business?

They hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
The quarry near my house went out of business.

I guess they hit rock bottom.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AFiveStar-Man
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
🚨︎ report
What ever happened to the man who failed as both a stone cutter and bounty hunter?

He could never find his quarry.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.