Storks bring babies, but do you know what type of birds prevent babies?

Swallows....

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photographer_Rob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Be like Santa Claus and prevent the spread of Covid

Use Santatizer

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m going to open a restaurant that doesn’t do anything to prevent spreading the pandemic

It’s called Thai Food Mary

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you use to prevent stepping on your cat all the time?

PURRipheral vision.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmic_cat_art
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.

It’s non friction.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What has wheels and prevents water rings

A roller coaster

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtnels0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A new precaution has been implemented to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

All TCP communications will be converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maneatingrabbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new boxer with a disability that prevents him from lifting his arms past his waist?

All his opponents seem to have the upper hand.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riffengo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods

But it’s harder to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowerNotAShower2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting in your eyes but when I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash.

Eyeronic!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raven_007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My religion prevents me from throwing out old clothing.

We have been called to be holy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
At least it tells you what it prevents
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMataNui
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My uncle is convinced that his wife prevents flakey scalp in the hair

She's Aunty Dan Druff

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrobbio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a rare condition that prevents me from putting on foundation, mascara, eyeliner, etc.

No really, you can’t make this up.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cujo92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My coworker has to drink alkaline water to prevent IC flare-upsβ€”the higher the pH the better.

That’s so basic.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjazzy1990
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...

Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SixPhalaris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The Mars rovers have to be sterile before being sent to the planet to prevent cross contamination. Just one germ and they must clean the spaceship again...

The whole mission must be scrubbed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaPenguinMann
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
To prevent your gyro meat from drying out, criticize it harshly while cooking.

Give it a good lamb basting.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Only you can prevent Florist Friars.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxGuy5
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Do prison guards use proactive to prevent breakouts?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sdempsey313
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do British spies use to prevent athlete's foot?

Bond. Gold Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you prevent a fish from smelling bad?

You cut off its nose.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bkk443
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Church sign: God’s son-screen prevents sin burn

Possibly the worst one I’ve ever seen..

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NFSpace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know sex can prevent drowning?

It gives you heir.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL that fruits and vegetables can help prevent constipation

I guess that's why they call it pro-deuce.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/friedchocolate
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2017
🚨︎ report
He was always fixing his old roof to prevent leaks.

He had to stay on top of it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Performing regular vehicle maintenance can prevent issues down the road.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Only YOU can prevent

Narcissism

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/monroseph
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
🚨︎ report
What jokes prevent hay-fever?

Antihista-memes

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carubian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
All fan-bases have to be pretty large to prevent fans from toppling over.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerretFarm
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2015
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s easier to prevent ladies from eating Tide Pods

It’s harder to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaizersozen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Do prison officers use Proactive to prevent breakouts?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walshy420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report

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