I was in an 80's band called the prevention

We were better than the cure.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to be the drummer in a progressive 80s rock band called 'prevention'

We were better than The Cure

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gross04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad used to be in an 80's band called Prevention..

He says they were far better than The Cure!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keenan316
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
🚨︎ report
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....

Then she's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Storks bring babies, but do you know what type of birds prevent babies?

Swallows....

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photographer_Rob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Be like Santa Claus and prevent the spread of Covid

Use Santatizer

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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I’m going to open a restaurant that doesn’t do anything to prevent spreading the pandemic

It’s called Thai Food Mary

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you use to prevent stepping on your cat all the time?

PURRipheral vision.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmic_cat_art
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.

They're to prevent meltdowns.

πŸ‘︎ 237
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.

It’s non friction.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What has wheels and prevents water rings

A roller coaster

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtnels0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody asked me why I only use big headphones instead of ear buds..

I told them that it helps prevent any ear-itation.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wafflesflugon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Lots of violence could have been prevented in the Old West.

If only the cowboy architects had made the towns big enough for everyone else.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A new precaution has been implemented to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

All TCP communications will be converted to UDP to avoid handshakes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maneatingrabbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did your mom allow you to be exposed to preventable illnesses?

Because they're not Karen for you

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new boxer with a disability that prevents him from lifting his arms past his waist?

All his opponents seem to have the upper hand.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riffengo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Studies show habitual marijuana smokers have increased saliva production

When asked if there was any prevention, scientists stated you can either spit or get off the pot.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaxEcho
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
XD
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ser_ranserotto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods

But it’s harder to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowerNotAShower2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My religion prevents me from throwing out old clothing.

We have been called to be holy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting in your eyes but when I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash.

Eyeronic!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raven_007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My uncle is convinced that his wife prevents flakey scalp in the hair

She's Aunty Dan Druff

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jrobbio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A scientist walks into a lab to pick up a dozen beakers for a new experiment he’s been working on, and the lab clerk hands him 13 upon his arrival. β€œ13?”, the scientist asks, β€œI wanted a dozen!”

The lab clerk says β€œI thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErectAnarchy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.

Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
At least it tells you what it prevents
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMataNui
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a rare condition that prevents me from putting on foundation, mascara, eyeliner, etc.

No really, you can’t make this up.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cujo92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Excess weight could soon be Canada’s second leading preventable cause of cancer, report says

It’s a heavy problem

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KfirLA
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My coworker has to drink alkaline water to prevent IC flare-upsβ€”the higher the pH the better.

That’s so basic.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjazzy1990
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...

Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SixPhalaris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
The Mars rovers have to be sterile before being sent to the planet to prevent cross contamination. Just one germ and they must clean the spaceship again...

The whole mission must be scrubbed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaPenguinMann
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked: β€œWhat else could the management provide β€” that might have prevented you from leaving?”

I wrote β€œBirth control.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
To prevent your gyro meat from drying out, criticize it harshly while cooking.

Give it a good lamb basting.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Only you can prevent Florist Friars.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaxGuy5
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Do prison guards use proactive to prevent breakouts?
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sdempsey313
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Never buy flowers from a monk...

Only you can prevent florist friars

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shroomtree
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you prevent a fish from smelling bad?

You cut off its nose.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bkk443
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do British spies use to prevent athlete's foot?

Bond. Gold Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Bathing regularly helps prevent malaria...

Malaria is carried by mosquitos, but if you're clean, then your toes aren't musky any more.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Church sign: God’s son-screen prevents sin burn

Possibly the worst one I’ve ever seen..

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NFSpace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know sex can prevent drowning?

It gives you heir.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My local karaoke bar has just banned all Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Bing Crosby songs …

to prevent the spread of the crooner virus.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in a band in the 80s called Prevention.

We were better than The Cure.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Santa Clause prevent himself from getting coronavirus?

By santatising

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0lSherlockl0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal...

Then she's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report

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