Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?

you only get one shot

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ways_and_means
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a chocolate bars preferred gender pronoun?

Her/she

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BamaPaul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A very patriotic friend who I thought loved everything American just told me he preferred Eurpoean spellings

He's finally shown me his true colours.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Retrohero5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s a spider’s preferred job?

Web design

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BADartAgain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Some guys are talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one of the friends say "I sit down when I pee"

Another friend proceeds to curse and weep at the first friend yelling "I though you were a stand-up guy!"

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarfbit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do Paladins prefer Chain Mail?

Because its Holey

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What sort of Birthday cake do ghost prefer?

I scream Cake

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randomguy2322
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I prefer eating my vegetables in silence.

I just want some peas and quiet.

πŸ‘︎ 134
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My sister prefers taking the stairs, but I always take the elevator.

I guess..we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do companies prefer people with only one arm instead of people with both arms?

Because people with only one arm can do everything single-handedly

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YATALAX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife showed me two quilts and asked me which one I preferred.

I said, β€œI refuse to make blanket statements.”

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbolgiano
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were shopping for clothes at the department store when she asked, "Do you prefer boxers or briefs?"

I replied, "Depends."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mano_Trueno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Draco Malfoy's preferred way to get to the dungeons? SLYTHERIN!

JK Rolling

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do most people prefer Englishmuffins over French ones?

The french ones give you the runs

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tiddleyjuggs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of wheat does the Pink Panther prefer?

Durum durum durum durum durum durum durum duruuummmm

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nword55
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Hire this guy
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uminx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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I usually prefer electric appliances

But after seeing my dirty underwear I think I prefer my gas dryer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Putt_Bunyon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I prefer escalators but my wife prefers elevators...

I think it’s because we were raised differently

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.

I told them they were being gracist.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uhh-Whatever
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you stop a mouse from squeaking ?

Like anything else, cover it in oil.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m tired of defending myself for being an anti vaxxer. It’s a personal preference.

I don’t vax my floors. I don’t vax my chest hair, and I certainly don’t vax my legs.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karatesauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of pizza did the pilot prefer?

Plain.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of floors do Ghosts prefer in their homes?

Bam-Boo floors.

Happy Halloween to all!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Never ask anyone whether they prefer New York City or Syracuse.

That's comparing apples to oranges.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Long-Afternoon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Spanish speaking people prefer to travel in groups of 2 or 4?

No tres-passing

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Our company
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sobie02
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of ethnic food do witches prefer?

Hex-Mex

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to choose between three cats. The first was super affectionate, like a dog. The second prefers to be alone all the time. I picked the third, whose personality is somewhere in between.

I named him Meat Loaf because he would do anything for love, but he won’t do that.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the army prefer combustion engines?

They're better when youre on petrol

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I like people like I like my tea....

In a bag, underwater.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I prefer to use the vacuum cleaner with boxing gloves on

They call me Dyson Fury

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barderz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the preferred mode of transport for the wizard of Oz?

The Oscar.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lead_the_leader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I got fired when I asked a customer if he preferred smoking or non smoking.

Apparently the correct terms are "cremation" and "burial".

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumb-reply
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A man was very nervous just before his vasectomy...

...so to stall, he asked the doctor if he preferred to start with the left testicle or the right, to which the doctor replied, I don’t think there’s a vas deferens.

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigboozer69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
85% of Muslims prefer their eggs Sunni side up.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gluecksschwuemmli
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Please dont call us grammar nazis

We prefer the term "alt-write"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Major_Cupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Anyone out there any preference for their favorite island to visit..?

.. I've none atoll.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you know pirates prefer voluptuous women?

They’re always hollering β€œa vast bootie!!!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G200Sleepr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a chocolate bars preferred gender pronouns?

Her/She

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LetMeTellYouX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What are chocolate bars preferred pronouns

Her-she

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My brother always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.

I guess we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My brother prefers to take the stairs but I prefer the escalator.

I guess we were raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.

I guess.... we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 353
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife showed me two quilts, and asked me which one I preferred.

I said, β€œI refuse to make blanket statements.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I prefer escalators but my wife prefers elevators...

I think it’s because we were raised differently

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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