Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Me: the earth isn’t flat. Fiat Earther: correct. Me: huh? Fiat Earther: it’s the shape an italian car. Me: what?
Fiat Earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?
If the Earth is the third planet from the Sun...
...does that mean that every country is a third-world country?
If you're born on Earth Day,
then it's your B-Earth-Day
(Note: Yes, I'm born on Earth Day and hence am posting this.)
I never thought the sun really goes around the earth
Earth Day comes once a year, but...
Sunday comes once a week.
On which side of the earth should you build a house?
How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now
Chinese rocket remanats are going to fall back to earth this weekend
My son asked me why is there space between earth and stars?
Because earthandstars is hard to read.
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
My coworker told me a joke about Earth.
How does the Sun deliver light to Earth?
Someone dug a plethora of d’earth. Now I’ve got a hole lot of nothing.
Did anyone hear what happened to planet Earth last night?
The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours.
They decided to call it a day.
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids
then it behooves you to become a centaur.
My son asked me if gravity kept us on the earth
I'm up in the air on that one
Why does a space rock taste nicer than an earth rock?
It’s a little meteor.
(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)
I don’t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it aren’t even well rounded.
I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
The flat earth society has members all around the globe.
What did the duck say when earth started shaking?
Looks like Earth & Mars are fighting again
Earth just told Mars to "get a life"
What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?
To prove he was right, the "flat earther" walked to the end of the Earth
He eventually came around
I like the way earth rotates.
I got an email from Google Earth saying it can “read maps backwards” and I thought
I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said "Earth."
That meant the world to me.
What did the volcano say to earth?
I’m going to explode if you don’t stop pressuring me.
People ask me how I stay so down to earth...
I tell them the answer has certain gravity to it.
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
One day, the Earth and the Sea met. The Sea asked the Earth: "Can I touch you?"
The Earth answered: "Shore"
What's the circumference of the earth?
I don't know, but it's a round number...
Scientists became so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours
A flat earther was debating me and got so mad he said "I will walk off the edge of the earth to prove you wrong!!"
He'll come around eventually
I was watching the rotation of the Earth, but I got bored after 24 hours.
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around, eventually.
I once debated a flat earthed. He got me so mad I stormed off, saying I'd come back around eventually.
You could say I went over the edge.
I love the way the earth rotates.
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