A silly nfl world pun. .perhaps better in r/atheist?

If the Vikings QB were questioning his religion. . would Christian Ponder be pondering his Christianity?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwoodreddit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2013
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(LINK) Article about the World Pun Championships: We have found our king!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTapedHamster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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What is the opposite of a croissant?

A happy uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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My son might not be the best roofer in the world

But he is up there

πŸ‘︎ 180
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainSpy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week

Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justin_true_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Topical...
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vidman33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Laughs in European
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aniulz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Why is β€œbeefstew” an unsafe password to use?

Because it’s not Stroganoff.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peytonmi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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There's a term for people like Trump

Evidently not two though

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meemsouprice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Just heard the world paper tearing champion has died....

RIP.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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One day the Canadians will take over the world....

Then you'll all be sorry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFoShow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🀩

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whoopass_voice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN

You get them VERY ANGRY

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sisrael81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most indifferent country in world history?

The So-be-it Union

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geeyoung373
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Where do mansplainers get their water?

From a well, actually..

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/safiyah-l
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Imperial>
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_its_shayan_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Outta this world par-Tay
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natnat301
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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There are two types of people in this world.
  1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard they were going to broadcast the World Origami Championships this weekend since so many sports are cancelled

Too bad it’s Payperview

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What’s the fastest liquid in the world?

Milk, it’s pasteurized before you can even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TongueBandit69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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All of the world eventually got the virus

But China got it right off the bat

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I own the worlds worst thesaurus

Not only is it awful, it's awful.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fear of giants?

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobo4lifee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I created the world’s first bulletproof vest using pages from recycled books

I call it Plot Armor β„’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Ireland has the worlds fastest growing capital city...

Every year it's Dublin

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourself2343
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....

Quaranteens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chiken_nuget_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gambitK9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the angriest country in the world?

Madagascar!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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eBay is so useless

I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,570 matches

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puranjay1432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Feeling ugly? Work at a bee sanctuary and start helping the world! Everyone will think you are beautiful for that

Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A good title for a conservative news article a couple days ago when Trump declared β€œStop the count!” after Biden started making gains but Trump still could’ve shocked the world would’ve been...

β€œTrump’s Not Down For the Count”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadow_Boxer1987
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A German soldier during World War II was embellishing the number of troops he had with him

When the Allies thought it was just him, he claimed there were not 1 but 2. Then he changed his story to 3. Then he said 5, then 8, then 13, and finally 21. When the Allies made it to his position, they discovered that it actually was just him.

Turns out he was a fibber nazi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Dude 1: β€œHey bro?” Dude 2: β€œYeah bro?” Dude 1: β€œCan you hand me that pamphlet?”

Dude 2: β€œBrochure”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reditrewrite
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There are three types of people in this world

Those that can count, and those that can't.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daydrastik
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking World News

Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst kΓ€se scenario.

That is all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingOfCurl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of

The Quaranteens

πŸ‘︎ 27k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tecniklee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The worlds shortest man and worlds tallest man have just robbed a bank.

The police are searching high and low for the culprits.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest drink in the world?

Milk! It's pastureyes before you seen it!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onlyuseful
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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How does Jesus make his Coffee?

Hebrews it.

πŸ‘︎ 585
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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I've been trying to organise the World Hide and Seek Championships...

Good players are hard to find.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
There is one place in this world where you can truly love yourself.

In the master bedroom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BoogiepoP_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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