All hail the holy antlers of the deer god
If Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God
Does that mean that Mary had a little lamb?
Why is Jesus the "Lamb of God?"
Because he used him as a Scapegoat.
What does the god of thunder get when he drops his hammer?
If we're all God's children...
....what's so special about Jesus ?
What does the God say when he's surprised
God said to Moses come forth my son
But the silly bastard tripped and came fifth
Why does God only accept offerings of Swiss cheese?
God: *creates a worm* hello little buddy!
Worm: Thanks for the "worm" welcome haha...
God: * creates birds *.
I have a secret to share: I'm the Norse god of mischief.
Ever heard of the god with low self-esteem?
I will become the next great god. The embodiment of Thor and Odin’s power.
What did God do after he created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness?
What did the Norse god of thunder say after biting his lip during an intense workout?
I was talking to God. "How longis a million years?"
God replies, "To me, its about a minute."
I asked, "How much is $5 million?"
God replies, "To me its like a penny."
I asked, "May I have a penny please?"
God replies, "Wait a minute. "
I caught my son chewing on an electrical cord...
so I had to ground him.
He's doing better currently.
And conducting himself properly.
Dear God, thank you for these noodles.
God got into every college he applied to. His son got rejected everywhere.
He got hung up on his boards.
What did God say after performing the immaculate conception?
My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.
I found a parasite in my Easter basket who tried telling me there was no God.
It was an egg ganache tick
How did God make sure Adam had a deep masculine laugh?
He gave him 2 test tickles
What do you call the Greek God of regret ?
If God posts anything on reddit it will definitely die in new...
cause all his worshipers will be devoting that post!
ADAM IT IS I, YOUR LORD GOD!
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
It would be shocking if this isn't a repost but I could not resist
i'm beginning to feel like a pun god
Why did God tell Moses to watch his step?
He was standing on holey ground.
What does a Norse god do when they don’t want to attract attention?
They stay low key (Loki).
What's the world's longest name?
Dad, do you know why it’s so dark at night?
No sun
EDIT: oh my god 1k upvotes! THIS like, tripled my post karma. You guys are incredible. Much love!
What is Jesus' favourite band?
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.
The wolves may be predators but he pray
The Norse god of mischief only had private birthday parties.
He kept things pretty low key.
Who is the greek god of skating?
When God lights a cigarette....
Is it with a match made in Heaven ?
A technique that has been used for decades
I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.
They said it was grounds for termination.
I was researching about Atheism
Turns out it's a non-prophet organization
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic with ansomnia?
They stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
What does the god of thunder get when he drops his hammer?
What did God do after creating a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness of Earth?
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