Because it's heavy metal
But it's too late....she sank.
I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet.
An electric sock!
Don't do that I'll dyson!
Short conversation with my son yesterday driving home from skiing:
Son: Dad, my ears are plugged.
Me: My ears are ears.
Because it had seen some shit.
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
She wanted something to Putin her butt
Now, every time I plug it into my computer it says: “The Titanic is syncing”
I must conduct an investigation
I simply refused.
It loses its cool.
The beans are ground.
They're in a car in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly, the car starts making noise and stops completely.
The electrician quickly says: it must be the spark plugs! I will take a look and change them.
The mecanician responds : no it's the transmission! I gotta jack the car and make sure the clutch is ok.
The informatician confidently asks: what if we just get out of the car and come right back in?
But it was all bark and no byte
It was a sound investment
I just now vacuumed the whole house to discover the vacuum was not plugged in.
You listen to pop.
Ah well, I’ll just keep plugging away and try again.
He told me he thought that with a battery-powered car it would be a good idea to have a Charger as well.
He was annoyed because I unplugged this really loud fan, I told him to chill out and when he plugged it back in I ask are we cool now?
Me; the moons almost full.
Dad; there's a plug at the bottom, drain it out.
Ffs.
My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:
"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk. It's only at one percent!"
I say it so often now that my kids stopped eating cereal, and have pretty much cut dairy from their diets.
"Get into mAh belly"
I guess with great power comes great responsibility.
Ok, so this one needs a bit of buildup.
At the time (a week or so ago) I was making a homebrew item for DnD (for the uninformed, Homebrew are custom made items/classes/spells to use in a DnD game at the discretion of the DM (Dungeon Master)).
I had shown this item (shameless plug) to my friend (who is also the DM of the campaign I'm in now) in the hopes of using it in the campaign. He had pointed out that the item was a bit OP for it's cost and that the homebrew page I had made for it was too long. We were discussing ways to improve both the item and the page, and then got on the topic of magic items in general.
It went something along the lines of this:
DM: ... you can't really destroy a magic item before removing the magic from it. Like, you could try to melt down a magic sword for example, but all that would really do is make it too hot to hold. You could even bend it, but not outright destroy it.
Me: That's gotta be one pissed off magic sword.
DM: I mean, yeah, if it's sentient.
Me: Maybe it got so angry at being bent, that it gains sentience just spite you or something.
DM: Well, yeah maybe.
And this, people of reddit, is when the PUN, popped into my head.
Me: *leans in* you could say that the sword gained sentience cuz it got... bent out of shape.
A second or two of silence, and I see the pun register in his head, and I fucking lost it.
I then laugh for a straight minute. After about ten secunds of me busting a gut, he said "Aight, Imma head out"
We're cool now, but he really didn't want to talk to me the next day.
...We were walking through the lounge room with the cord still plugged in to my belt and I said to my wife, "Hey baby! Look at me! I'm a walk-man!"
It was electrifying conversation.
...that they had to go and make USB?
They were to small, so i respond with well there goes $0.99 down the drain
"No wonder honey, you always want to be in charge "
Of course I said a wall socket.
Coworker comes in holding an ethernet cord and asks if we have a jack in this office.
"Nope. It's just me, Andrew, and Jet."
I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”
Ah well, I’ll just keep plugging away and try again...
