Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet
He was looking for Pooh
Old I know...
don't stick your finger in crazy
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. “You need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. “Do you mow the whole yard in one direction.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because that’s what makes it beautiful.”
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
I was reminded of the time’s when I was a child the other day. My dad is to stick us in tires and roll us down the hills in the back yard....
Those were the GOODYEARS.
If I pay a doctor to stick his finger in my butt...
...does that make him a prostatoot too?
My daughter had to stick her hand in a sack to try to guess the type of material by touch...
Why did the hungry snowboarder stick a hand warmer in his pants?
He was craving a hot pocket.
To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...
If she bites you, she's a female.
Well, the new year is upon us and that means I have to stick spigots in all my red and black maple trees...
The task always saps my strength.
What do you call it when you dip two celery sticks in ranch at the same time?
I can’t believe Somebody broke in and stole my limbo stick. I mean how low can you go...
Once I dropped a stick in my Fanta
My dad saw my two cousins (both dressed as Elsa) get sticks caught in their dresses
My aunt: “oops look like they’re tangled up”
My dad: “they’re Frozen not Tangled”
What happens when you stick clickbait in an outlet? What happens next will shock you.
You're in a locked room, cement room with just stick, how do you get out?
Break the stick in half. Two halves make a whole. Climb out.
I was told off by my fellow hikers for covering my walking stick in dried grapes.
Well, now I'm raisin cane!
I hate going to the doctor, especially when they put that wooden stick in my mouth...
Don't be a stick in the mud.
http://i.imgur.com/h2E32OI.png
Person one: "Don't put the pots and pans in the dishwasher, it wrecks the anti-stick stuff. That's how I ruined that big pan."
Person two: "I guess you could say the anti-stick went out of the frying pan, into the water."
How do protons and neutrons stick together so well in the nucleus?
They've got to have some damn strong gluon them.
Why didn't they drive stick in the Soviet Union?
Cause they were afraid of Stalin'!
Last week in Warsaw the government asked its people how they felt about an expedition to stick large metal rods in the northern and southern ends of the globe.
it was the Poll of Poles on the pole poles.
Daughter: how long are the fish fingers/sticks in the oven going to be?........
You’re locked in a cement room and just have a stick. How do you get out?
Break the stick in half...
...two halves make a hole.
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