I quit my job of drilling holes in decorative wooden plaques...

It was pretty boring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, β€œdo you smoke or drink coffee?”

I told him I drink it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quigleydude
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2022
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I wanted to decorate with a taxidermy cat's butt mounted on a plaque

But that would just be a cat-ass-trophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deeporange_j
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2021
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Do I deserve a plaque?

(Not sure if this counts, but...)

At times it can be a battle trying to get my kids to brush their teeth, so have to try different ways to encourage them...

For my 4 y/o daughter, I tell her it won't take long, as she's got small teeth...

For my 6 y/o son, I tell him it won't take as long as usual, as he's lost 6 of them...

...we use electric toothbrushes for both...πŸ˜‚

(Might be better in r/KidsAreFuckingStupid...πŸ˜…)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LostBoyNav
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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A friend of mine who is a dental hygienist retired after 25 years in the job.

All they gave her was a lousy plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenGTS125
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2022
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What rap star loves brushing their teeth?

Flo(u) Rida

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiniMonkey876
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2022
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I hate people who don't brush their teeth.

They're a plaque on society.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMacNulty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2022
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Just came back from the dentist.

My hygienist is thinking of retiring. β€œWhy don’t you just scale back?” I said. β€œThey’d have a lot of trouble filling your spot”. β€œYes, but I’m looking forward to getting a plaque”, she said. To be honest, I left there feeling a little numb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xenophilian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2022
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The dentist was proud of himself for winning an award.

However, he was disappointed for getting a little plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rather-Tasty
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2022
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Our dentist sponsored my kids little team team, so when they won the championship they were expecting a big trophy

But all they got was a little plaque

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jongraboyes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2021
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My dad is a highly successful dentist that has been presented many awards

His office has a high plaque build-up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cranky_Windlass
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2021
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I visited the birth place of the guy who invented the toothbrush.

There's no plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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My dentist is having a sale today...

Plaque Friday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.

Sadly, there was no plaque on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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*Ted receiving the Best Dentist award at the Dentist award show*

This award is my crowning achievement but this is the only plaque that’s allowed in my house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Q: What’s the best time to go to the dentist?

A: Tooth hurty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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No one in r/jokes appreciates my genius reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nabuhabu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Why do dentists have so many trophies?

Because they got rid of the plaques.

(This one popped into my head getting into the shower. Crap, it’s early.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillfredL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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I love my dentist.

Every year I give him a little plaque

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matrose9
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started. I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you..."

"...have plaque on your wall?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I like my dentist so much...

I gave him a little plaque

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πŸ‘€︎ u/owarner40
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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What's kind of surgeon receives the most awards?

Dentists. They receive a new kind of plaque almost every day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenoblade013
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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I went hunting for the first time ever last week.

The only thing I managed to shoot was a feral cat. Great shot though, tore the thing in half and the front half was nowhere to be seen. Filled with pride, I picked up the feline's hind quarters and thought I'd have a go at taxidermy to make a plaque for above the mantle. What a catastrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bort-bort-bort
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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I was worried my dentist wouldn’t clean my teeth properly.

Every wall in his his office was covered in plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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A number of memorial plates have been vandalised recently...

The culprit, a crazed 34 year old Dentist name Michael. When asked why he did it said: "I just really hate plaque."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/colour_of_cows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Did you hear about the dentist who was displeased with all the awards his son was earning?

There was major plaque buildup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheJettisoned
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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Dad Joke From One Dad To Another

I'm a dad, and I told my dad this, so I think it counts. It got a lot of groans, so I think it's great, if a bit long.


I once lived near a small, simple town where there lived named Hugh.

Hugh was a very smart man stricken with a series of personal tragedies earlier in his life. As a result, he moved to this small town and took a job in his local florist shop, relaxing the days away arranging flowers and trying not to think of times past. Hugh grew to love working there.

One day, a disaster struck the town. A small, single engine airplane crashed a block from Hugh's shop, killing those on the plane and setting fire to several buildings, both occupied and empty.

The impact ruptured a gas line, which ultimately exploded, creating a shock wave that caused part of the building next to the florist shop to collapse and trap several of Hugh's customers and co-workers inside. The situation was desperate, as the shop would be burned to the ground at any moment.

Acting quickly, Hugh located the gas main, shutting it down. Next, Hugh noticed a water storage tank nearby, and opened a release valve that suffocated the fire before it reached his beloved shop.

With the fire out, and the florist shop saved along with those trapped inside, Hugh was a hero. The town presented him with a plaque in honor of his courageous deeds. On this plaque was a detailed etching of a bear, and Hugh was touched because he loved bears. But it was the words etched beneath that truly touched him.

"Only Hugh could prevent florist fires."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Primatebuddy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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What do you do to congratulate dentists on a job well done?

Give them a plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotchaBackJack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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Someone my dad knew was on TV...

Dad: "Yeah, this guy, he had a lot of plaques in his office..."

Me: "You know who has the most plaque in their offices?"

Dad: "Who?"

Me: "Dentists."

I learned everything I have from him

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
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Dadjoked after the dentist

Dad took me up from the dentist and asked

"How was it?"

I responded with

"He did a great job!"

He followed with

"Awesome, I'd say we should get him a little plaque, but you probably just took care of that"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Tys1_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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Now I know can bench at least one dadjoke

While out walking with the family we saw a bench with a dedication plaque. It read "In Memory of Helen, she walked these meadows with joy". Of course I had no choice but to remark "Why didn't Joy get a bench too?"

Cue involuntary snort of laughter from the wife. Mission accomplished.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibolamoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
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Bill Bryson's dad vs the San Andreas Fault

I went and saw author Bill Bryson speak last night and he told us how his dad used to make the most wonderful puns. I'll paraphrase best I can:

They had traveled from Iowa to California on vacation, and they were driving along the coast. They stopped at an informational plaque at the San Andreas Fault, and his dad walked straight up to the huge crack in the ground and threw a quarter in. When the kids asked why he did that, he simply responded "I've always wanted to be generous to a fault."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
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Girlfriend just got me.

I was at the dentist office for a morning appointment, just got home and my girlfriend said this:

"Why did you go in the morning? Why not tooth-hurty?"

"I should get a plaque for that, or maybe a crown."

This one is a keeper.

edit: grammar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gari109
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
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My father on modern art

My parents visited me last weekend. Short on ideas, we decided to hit up a widely-respected art museum. They had some new exhibitions, some of which were a little outside our personal tastes and expectations.

We walked into a photography exhibit and saw, along one wall, a sheet of green. This sheet of green was a little higher and taller than the average door, and stretched all the way down that bit of wall plus a few feet onto the floor.

"Oh," I said, "a green screen. That's kind of a neat little thing to have here. Sort of an homage to that style of film, I guess?"

Little did I know. In hindsight, I don't know why I expected anything different.

My father and I approached the plaque beside it. There we learned the truth: This was not a green screen. No. No, this was a specially printed photograph.

A photograph... of a green screen.

There we stood, astonished at the audacity of the thing before us. "My God," I said aloud, "This, right here, this is something else. This is just plain genius. Can you imagine getting money for something like this? Why didn't we come up with this? This is gold!"

To which my dad simply responded, "No, son...

... it's green."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Habefiet
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2016
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He totally set her up for it.

So we were having dinner with some family friends of ours when our friends wide started talking about an award she won a few years back. Her husband: "Did they give you any proof"

Her: "Yea I have a plaque!"

Her husband: "Well maybe you should brush your teeth more!"

Cue collective half groan half laughs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AveryW
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
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"I smile because you are my son. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it."

--a small plaque in my dad's study.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NortySpock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2013
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What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What award does a Dentist recieve?

A plaque

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HelixFossil88
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What award does the Dentist of the Year receive?

A little plaque

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylem1430
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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