I keep telling my wife to stop buying peeling masks

It’s just a rip off

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swetiger
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My arborist friend was helping a tree that was peeling

But it turns out he was barking up the wrong tree

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
*while peeling a banana* One skin, Two skin, Three skin.........

Last skin

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend asked me if I was peeling sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner.

I said, β€œYes, I yam”

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanilla_Milkshaq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad was peeling fruit and he thought this was funny...

I'm an art major and my Dad looks at me and says

"Hey, what was vincents favorite fruit?"

I said "

what Dad?"

"Mango."

Fuck you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boson707
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Wife told me my forehead had peeling skin

My wife sits on my lap, looks at my face for a few seconds, then picks at my forehead and tells me I'm peeling.

wife: You're peeling.

me: a?

w: what? your forehead is peeling.

m: a?

w: 'a' what?

m: a?

w: huh?

m: just one spot?

w: well just one spot, but several flakes

m: so just one spot?

w: yeah

m: so, a?

w: ...

m: a?

w: what are you trying to tell me?

m: you find me appealing?

Wife gets up

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sdb3001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
🚨︎ report
My friends dad after peeling a bag of potatos

Holds up the shavings to us and in his thick New York accent says "disapealing to you?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad is peeling potatos for Christmas Eve dinner..

..and none of the newer peelers are working for him, so he grabs the peeler he's had for years.

Dad: None of these peelers work as well as this one. There's a reason I buy and keep things like these.

Me: So you would say that one is most appealing to you?

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flintose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
🚨︎ report
Peeling an Orange

I recently broke my hand, and I was peeling an orange with a thumb-peeler on the broken hand. My mom asked, "Doesn't that hurt?" Then my dad chimed in with, "That depends. Are you talking to him or the orange?"

Mother was not pleased.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathanasy
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess

I have been walking on eggshells ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MehWebDev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxys14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My coworker asked me to judge their tan...

I gave it a tan out of tan.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend walked upstairs, stepped on a banana peel, and fell on his bed

He went to slip

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cubelith
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t really like rotten bananas...

They’re not very a-peeling.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoisonedSnack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
How many birds can use their huge beak to peel fruit?

Toucan

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Octopus-Pawn
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Think this guy is gonna....peel out?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I caught my son rubbing banana peels all over him. At first, I was worried. Then I realized it.

He was going to be all ripe.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdafbird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Two bananas are sitting at a drag strip

When the light drops the first banana split, the other peeled out.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorMinceMeat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana always stare at his reflection?

Because he thought he was very apPEELing

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Korean foot peels

Are food for the seoul

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownamouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you like potatoes?

Because I find them very a-peeling.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satans-Kawk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are Bananas so Popular?

Because they have a Peel for Everyone!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brianna-Jo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana go to the doctor's.

It wasn't peeling to well.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G3ffr0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Two bananas married without realising they were from the same tree.

They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey kids, do you know why did the banana go to the hospital?

He was peeling really bad! Hahaha!!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balkso
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a shoe made of a banana?

A slipper

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abdic8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
When will you know if a banana is sick?

When its not peeling well... (cringe moment)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadLEGZ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana cross the road?

Because it wasn’t peeling well

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pair of banana peels on the floor?

Slippers!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
You want some?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondmemebond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I hope you'll see the a-peel in this joke. imgur.com/3IEsBG2
πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrogGentlemen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2017
🚨︎ report
ROFL with peels of laughter
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kauntest
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why should you be a banana for Halloween?

Because you know your costume has a-peel!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uminx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I learnt about the symptoms of sever athletes foot

It’s quite a peeling

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my wife caught me redhanded in the kitchen

I was peeling the beets

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zenga03_03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I beat my rivals by inventing the world's first book made from onion skin.

Read it and weep!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who ate bananas whole?

He didn’t peel too well

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zura1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
This guy will probably peel out when he leafs today
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nichobronoswag
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
🚨︎ report
Why should you never tell banana jokes?

Because they're all bent

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Jordan Peele just won an Oscar?

Get out

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMeowMeow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone at work eats a bannana with the peel.

I just don't find it that a-peeling.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thelighgod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
It looks delicious
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slisseren
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: "Son, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your grandma slipped and fell on a banana peel. She's pretty banged up"

She got a banana Nana boo boo.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mlnkoly111
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Want to hear a joke about bananas?

K

πŸ‘︎ 283
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacebeleren1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm a relatively new dad. My 2 year old daughter was eating a banana in the car. From the back seat, she started to hand me sections of the banana peel when I blurted this out:

"Don't do that, you'll hurt his peelings!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/super_dork
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana go too the doctor

He wasn't PEELING very well

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamiraiBarry
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana got to the doctor?

He wasn’t peeling well....

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oztourist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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