But it's really just a doggy shag story.
"Shedding?" she asked. "Yeah. It's like barning but smaller." That's the biggest groan I've gotten out of her yet.
My mom recently got a pet rabbit. He is starting to blow his coat, and I asked "he won't be naked will he?" Which prompted my dad to say "No, he will still have a 'hare.'
You'd think they'd move faster this way, but it just makes them more sluggish.
Score! I got free antique-y torches!
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
It really hit close to home.
It was a real He-Shed She-Shed situation.
Oh, never mind... It's pointless.
There was no battering ram.
So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
on the importance of saving energy.
Moovie!
One man-tear was shed.
How low can you go?
These hoes ain't loyal
They can run, but they cannot hide.
He pulls out a handheld plastic device and says “Sorry kiddo, I left my Stud Finder on.”
He says it doesn't look stable.
A reptile dysfunction.
Now I'm a werehouse.
Usain Molt.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
Those were dark times
I guess it was unstable.
Why can't they understand that, sometimes, I just want to be leaft alone?
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
he claims it was an Axe-cident
When he was stirring the mortar, he told me to get him something to stir it with, but he told me it couldn't be a fork. I asked why, and he said "cause then I'd be a mortar forker."
it was an emulsional time for me.
My son out-of-the-blue said "When I grow up I'm going to run a Star Wars, like, park thing. And I'm going to have an elevator painted with Darth Vader on it and I'm going to call it Darth EleVader."
Like a brazilllion.
Then it dawns on me
My family were on vacation and we were going on a hike. We had been walking for a little over an hour when my sister she had something in her shoe that was bothering her.
She asked us to stop so she could take it out and my dad excitedly agreed. I was super confused as to why he seemed so excited, so I stopped as well.
My sister sat down, took off her shoe, and my dad gasped dramatically.
“Oh my god! There was a foot in your shoe.”
He proceeded to laugh himself to tears, while I laughed at his reaction to his own dad joke.
I'd been doing yard and shed work on a hot day and bought some boardshorts/trunks from an op shop (goodwill) on my way home. Joked around with the older ladies at the register. They said I should try them on and give them a parade... As I was walking away I said "... nah, I'm too hot and dirty..."
As the words were still coming out of my mouth I realized what I'd done. I left in a confused haze of embarrassment and achievement. For a brief moment I touched the state of effortless dad joke.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
Snaked
