Don't you hate when your catpet starts shedding fur? v.redd.it/0su91v3qc5131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpar1
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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I'd tell you about my German Shepherd shedding in the carpet

But it's really just a doggy shag story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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I told my girlfriend my deerskin rug is shedding.

"Shedding?" she asked. "Yeah. It's like barning but smaller." That's the biggest groan I've gotten out of her yet.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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Our rabbit is shedding

My mom recently got a pet rabbit. He is starting to blow his coat, and I asked "he won't be naked will he?" Which prompted my dad to say "No, he will still have a 'hare.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quimbo-Slice20
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
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TIL that snails can shed their shells

You'd think they'd move faster this way, but it just makes them more sluggish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RocketDocRyan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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Bought a house with a shed and found a lot of old tiki torches!

Score! I got free antique-y torches!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...

Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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We had an arsonist throw Molotov cocktails at driveways, sheds, and cars parked all around our neighborhood.

It really hit close to home.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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A man and his wife had a shed in their backyard. The neighbor asked which of them built it and they both replied that they had built it, leading to a massive argument.

It was a real He-Shed She-Shed situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AntiNinja40428
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Did you hear the one about the buck who shed its antlers?

Oh, never mind... It's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.

There was no battering ram.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xXSparklePonyXx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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My buddy Neil decided to get into a new kind of business designing keyholes for small houses

So we gave him the nickname shack keyhole Neil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Runningforbeer343
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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A burglar stole all my lamps

I should be upset, but I’m delighted

πŸ‘︎ 575
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koolvin88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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On Earth Hour, we'd like to shed some light...

on the importance of saving energy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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4 year-old daughter: Daddy, do you know what I'm going to name this cow from Chick-fil-a?

Moovie!

One man-tear was shed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peternemr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Someone went into my shed and stole my limbo stick

How low can you go?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarEyedSiren
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I went out to my shed to find my gardening tools were flirting with other gardeners

These hoes ain't loyal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hasdog_willtravel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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Someone has stolen all my trainers and high visibility jackets from my shed.

They can run, but they cannot hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VanillaKidd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Dad and I were building a storage shed. His pocket starts to beep until I got annoyed. I said β€œDad, what is that beeping? Turn it off!”

He pulls out a handheld plastic device and says β€œSorry kiddo, I left my Stud Finder on.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrOddYazz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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I made a shed but my horse won't go inside

He says it doesn't look stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kapitallist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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What do you call it when a snake can't shed it's skin?

A reptile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parakeetpoop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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What to you call a shed full of $20,000 worth of power tools?

A good start!

All hail makita cordless power tools!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oldmate81
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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One night, beneath a full moon, I cut my hand on a rusty shed.

Now I'm a werehouse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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My 3-d printed she-shed by the seashore
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsacalamity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I built a shed yesterday

Nailed it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dravalo
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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What do you call a runner that sheds their skin?

Usain Molt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPlay3r13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.

So I have to keep them in the shed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Do yall remember the Great Lightbulb Shortage of '07?

Those were dark times

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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I got my daughter a pony and tried to hide it in the shed but the shed collapsed

I guess it was unstable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r2devo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
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I love going into the forest while the trees shed their leaves, but I hate it when people join me uninvited

Why can't they understand that, sometimes, I just want to be leaft alone?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankydanc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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That's a foot and...
πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2017
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My neighbour chopped down a tree and it fell on my shed

he claims it was an Axe-cident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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My dad was fixing the brick wall on the side of our tool shed.

When he was stirring the mortar, he told me to get him something to stir it with, but he told me it couldn't be a fork. I asked why, and he said "cause then I'd be a mortar forker."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bananasox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2013
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I was moving house and had to paint over everything; I shed a tear...

it was an emulsional time for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/navigator87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Proud Dad tear shed for my Star Wars fan son

My son out-of-the-blue said "When I grow up I'm going to run a Star Wars, like, park thing. And I'm going to have an elevator painted with Darth Vader on it and I'm going to call it Darth EleVader."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joealarson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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Where does bad light end up?

In prism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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Hey anyone know how many tears were shed tonight?

Like a brazilllion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotoriousHaze
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2014
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Every day I forget which direction the sun rises...

Then it dawns on me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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My dads best one yet

My family were on vacation and we were going on a hike. We had been walking for a little over an hour when my sister she had something in her shoe that was bothering her.

She asked us to stop so she could take it out and my dad excitedly agreed. I was super confused as to why he seemed so excited, so I stopped as well.

My sister sat down, took off her shoe, and my dad gasped dramatically.

β€œOh my god! There was a foot in your shoe.”

He proceeded to laugh himself to tears, while I laughed at his reaction to his own dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrp17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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I'm not trying to be mean, but this guy looks shady.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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Unintentional dad joke..

I'd been doing yard and shed work on a hot day and bought some boardshorts/trunks from an op shop (goodwill) on my way home. Joked around with the older ladies at the register. They said I should try them on and give them a parade... As I was walking away I said "... nah, I'm too hot and dirty..."

As the words were still coming out of my mouth I realized what I'd done. I left in a confused haze of embarrassment and achievement. For a brief moment I touched the state of effortless dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/earnestpeabody
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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The local motorway has become blocked after a lorry shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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What do you call a snake who recently shed it's skin?

Snaked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SinusMonstrum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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