I told him that I had Clausible deniability.
He's now in the ICU.
To the I.C.U
They go to the ICU.
From an email my cousin sent me:
I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.
I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.
The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.
A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.
Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.
Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.
To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.
If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.
Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.
Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.
If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.
A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.
My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?
Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"
Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.
Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.
I took him to the ICU
Now she’s in the ICU
Now she’s in the ICU
Intensive Care Unit!
The ICU
Cleavesdropping.
Shoutout to my wife for dropping this one on me.
Edit: About 6 people have responded with "peek a boob" already. I applaud the effort, but to me that would be better nickname for nip slips.
or just mething around?
No-peek-a
Invented by an 8 year old.
I.C.U
Be aware We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (I won't name them) I went to pick it up last night and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!WTF??!!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A Peeking Duck!!!
Personally I’m on the fence.
They go to the ICU.
I'll show myself out.
It was a weight off my shoulder
People have always told me that icy is the easiest word to spell, and now that I think about it, i see why
Passenger: Which bus are you?
Driver: I'm not a bus, I'm the driver.
I replied I kendo it.
It was a grand dad joke
Because Monday is a weekday...
Because he might Peek-at-chu.
Optional addition NSFW or kids: And if he gets really excited, he might Squirtle.
Turns out he was just playing peek-a-boo ICU
Because of all the cheetahs
He peeked around the corner and asked "Son, do you want an ankle meat sandwich?" to which I replied "A what?" to which he quickly retorted "You know, below-knee? (baloney)."
I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life.
Edit: I know the proper spelling is "bologna" but since I have seen both spellings used interchangeably and I know a lot of people DON'T know how to spell it, I used the improper spelling so more people would get the joke. Jeeze.
To the I-C-U!
The I C U
The ICU.
The ICU
To the I...C...U!!!
The I.C.U.
To the ICU.
ICU
To the I-C-U.
Not mine I saw it on /Jokes.
ICU!
We ordered a Chinese last from a local place in downtown (we won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving!!!
I thought what on earth is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.
I was driving so pulled over, I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the chili beef.
I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...
And there it was ...
A Peeking Duck
