Barack Obama went to a costume party giving his wife a piggyback. Someone asks what he is and says "I'm a snail!"
"That's M'Shell on my back!"
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︎ Jan 25 2021
How does NASA organise a party?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
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︎ Jan 11 2021
What was the cannibal given after he showed up late to the dinner party?
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Housewarming party
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︎ Dec 28 2020
Why do mushrooms always get invited to parties?
Because theyβre all fungiβs
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︎ Jan 16 2021
The Norse god of mischief only had private birthday parties.
He kept things pretty low key.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Why was the mushroom the life of the party?
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︎ Jan 28 2021
I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties
It goes in one year and out the other.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
My mate had a combined Burns Night and Chinese New Year party he called Chinese Burns Night
I wasn't going to go, but he twisted my arm
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︎ Jan 29 2021
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
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︎ Dec 26 2020
So the house cats went to the tigers engagement party.
The tigers were having a great time, roaring, baring teeth and in general having a great time. The cats were sitting quietly off to the side. The tigers asked the cats, βWhy so quiet ? Donβt you like to have some boisterous fun ?β The cats replied, βOh yes, we used to be tigers too. Until we got married.β
PS. (This sounded way better when my friend told me in the original Malayalam language slang poocha-pulee)
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︎ Jan 26 2021
A guy goes to a party,and was offered some punch
He drank a full glass.
He was offered a refill.
He declined.
The guy was one punch man.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
A man's daughter wanted to have a tea party with him...
... the man agreed, but he doesn't have much experteas in the subject
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︎ Jan 03 2021
What do you call a hoagie at a party with loud music?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Why do Italian people bring ravioli to birthday parties?
So they can pasta parcel!
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︎ Jan 15 2021
How do you host a space party?
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.
I was immediately kicked out.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Tsunami invited Cyclone ,Earthquake and Drought to a tea party.
Nobody came.
Tsunami had a silent tea.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Did you hear about that farmer that hosted a party?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What did the handbag salesman say when he ran out of Camembert at his dinner party?
Sorry, we're all out of Guccis.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Looks like the Democrats are now the party of βA. Blinken.β
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Went to a great party for meteorologists yesterday....
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︎ Nov 19 2020
My wife told me to pick up cheese dip for the New Years Eve party.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
No one at my party was able to break the clown piΓ±ata.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.
As you can imagine, he wasn't in a very good state.
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?
It specializes in ringing in the new ear!
Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke
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︎ Dec 08 2020
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︎ Nov 13 2020
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".
Sorry for going on a tangent
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.
On the way home I got mugged.
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︎ Nov 24 2020
What do you call a mycology student who loves to party
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︎ Nov 24 2020
When do Santa's elves have their Christmas party?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
A friend invited me to his house for a party
When I arrived, his house was on fire. Damn, the party must be lit.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
How do you plan a party in space?
You planet
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter. So proud!!
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︎ Dec 04 2020
I'm at this party when all of a sudden this guy comes in and says "Hello I'm a builder."
I thought 'He knows how to make an entrance'.
But it turns out it was just a facade.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Why are ghosts the best to party with?
They bring all the booze.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.
βIβm a turtle,β he says.
βOh... whoβs on your back?β
βThatβs Michelle,β he replies.
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︎ Sep 19 2020
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
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︎ Nov 06 2020
How does NASA organize a party?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
My friends threw a house warming party in my new igloo.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
How does NASA organize a party?
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︎ Oct 20 2020
How do you have a party in Space??
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︎ Aug 30 2020
How do you throw a party in space?
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︎ Oct 22 2020
How do you have a party in space?
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︎ Nov 17 2020
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