Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?
He wanted to pass with flying colors.
I thought of that myself.
They are free of charge.
The Ab Original.
He came back with the cigarettes but told me he filed for divorce.
It was difficult, but I’ve stopped chewing gum now.
I told him he's a sound guy.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Outdoor jogging
The wolves may be predators but he pray
The abdominal snowman
It's my briefs case
Assaulting a salty teen with saltines
My dad just told me this one- hope you guys liked it 💖
...Colby
You should try it. It's a mind numbing experience.
but had to take them back as the seal was broken...
Wife: That’s wonderful, honey! Where are we going?
Husband: “We’re” not going anywhere.
Wouldn’t want it to get flat.
See you when you’re 30
It’s in mint condition.
He was traveling light
That would be soda pressing.
Holy smokes!
I guess you could say he’s ab-original.
Deodorant is a scent.
Ajar with plumb jamb!
To prevent any escape peas.
In his trunks!
A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.
"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."
They're prime cuts
The abdominal snowman.
She’s not really Inuit
She told me she had everything, and I was in a rush. So it got left behind. Figured it out right away as we were getting him changed and messaged my wife. She said she would bring it right away. I told my son "You mom is going to run your jersey over"
Without skipping a beat, he replied "Well that won't work, practice will probably be over. I wish she would just drive it over"
Then he gave me a huge grin. I told him he won the dad joke of the day and he continued smiling all the way until bedtime.
I'm finding them hard to deal with.
Best trade I ever made
No one knows what I’m dealing with.
They just wouldn’t stop Björking
