I saw a pack of gummy worms that said β€œNo artificial flavor.”

Who buys gummy worms hoping they’d taste as close to real worms as possible?

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pllarsen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the student throw a 64 pack of Crayola crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?

He wanted to pass with flying colors.

I thought of that myself.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stupidman44
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Does anyone want a pack of dead batteries?

They are free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ddodd69
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call the first Australian native to ever have a six pack

The Ab Original.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vanillathunda1989
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad went to the grocery store for a pack of cigarettes.

He came back with the cigarettes but told me he filed for divorce.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to have a pack a day, but I’m clean now!!!

It was difficult, but I’ve stopped chewing gum now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymouspapayaz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My DJ Friend helped me pack my stuff and move.

I told him he's a sound guy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CocaKoolAid228
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Pack it in there.
πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingogordy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Got the new expansion pack for my treadmill

Outdoor jogging

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.

The wolves may be predators but he pray

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaFamous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snowman with a 6 pack?

The abdominal snowman

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I travel, I pack my underpants in a seperate bag

It's my briefs case

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TickLikesBombs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you hit a rude teenager with a pack of cracker?

Assaulting a salty teen with saltines

My dad just told me this one- hope you guys liked it πŸ’–

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A true story: My boyfriend and I were in the dairy aisle of the grocery store. He tosses a pack of sliced cheese into the cart it ricochets and falls to the floor. β€œKobe!” I shout. β€œNo.” He says in a disappointed tone...

...Colby

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you ever used an ice pack for a headache?

You should try it. It's a mind numbing experience.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A dog named 'cigarette' ... OP should get more, then they'll have a whole pack ... /r/3amjokes/comments/k6e2…
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/inspire_me_please
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Pack and move
πŸ‘︎ 390
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWildNazis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,

but had to take them back as the seal was broken...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Husband: Honey! Pack your bags, I just won the lottery...

Wife: That’s wonderful, honey! Where are we going?

Husband: β€œWe’re” not going anywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I pack a soda in my bag everyday but it HAS to be on top.

Wouldn’t want it to get flat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cris0613
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m going to pick up a pack of smokes

See you when you’re 30

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edisonsucksdc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found an old pack of gum in my car.

It’s in mint condition.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Six Pack - TomMakesComics
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TomMakesComics
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the photon pack a suitcase?

He was traveling light

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
rat pack:
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/explosive_toaster
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What if I lifted a pack of Coca-Cola over my head for twenty minutes a day every day?

That would be soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoorHalfwayShut
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the Pope say when he wants to bless a pack of cigarettes?

Holy smokes!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicguy1982
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the first Neanderthal to get an 8-pack?

I guess you could say he’s ab-original.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel

Deodorant is a scent.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueomegaJF
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a door framer pack in his lunch?

Ajar with plumb jamb!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are frozen veg always in sealed packs?

To prevent any escape peas.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/byte_marx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the swimmer pack everything for his vacation?

In his trunks!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12!

A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.

"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xenevi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I sell steak in packs of 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11

They're prime cuts

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
You get 4 in a pack, well played Pot Noodle!
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CuteHalfling
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a big white furry monster with a six-pack?

The abdominal snowman.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my wife we should pack it up and start over as eskimos

She’s not really Inuit

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radtkeeee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Tonight I took my son to hockey practice and realized my wife forgot to pack his jersey from the dryer.

She told me she had everything, and I was in a rush. So it got left behind. Figured it out right away as we were getting him changed and messaged my wife. She said she would bring it right away. I told my son "You mom is going to run your jersey over"

Without skipping a beat, he replied "Well that won't work, practice will probably be over. I wish she would just drive it over"

Then he gave me a huge grin. I told him he won the dad joke of the day and he continued smiling all the way until bedtime.

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilkCanMatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The Starter Pack
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1papaya2papaya
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I've got a pack of really sticky playing cards.

I'm finding them hard to deal with.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a six pack for my wife

Best trade I ever made

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NashYaBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I keep imagining I’m holding an invisible pack of cards.

No one knows what I’m dealing with.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My camping trip to the beautiful country of Iceland was ruined by a pack of wild dogs

They just wouldn’t stop BjΓΆrking

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mono-klu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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