Policeman: What's your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What's your full name?

Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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How did Mary know baby Jesus was 6 lbs. 3 oz. at birth?

She gave him a weigh in a manger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountMC10
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What was the preferred mode of transport for the wizard of Oz?

The Oscar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lead_the_leader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Oz joke

I applied for a veterinary assistant position in Australia, but I didn't get the job because they said I wasn't Koalafed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chichm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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How does Dorothy of Oz weigh her baked goods?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myvolunteerbag
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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Did you know that the Wizard of Oz had a brother ?

His name is Gram

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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I regret not getting the 20 oz porterhouse at the restaurant

It was a big missed steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkerPatrol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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What do you get when you have 16 copies of The Wizard of Oz?

The Wizard of Lb

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonnet155
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2016
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You cannot buy a carbonated beverage any larger than 8 oz in the state of Minnesota
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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What’s a good name for β€œThe Wizard of Oz” when it doesn’t stay the same throughout?

In-kansas-tant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x3astu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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Why did the baker require 16 oz of ingredients?

He was making a pound cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kolshpa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Me: 24 oz. of soda is the same as two cans. My boyfriend: Do you know how to drink two cans?

β€œPut β€˜em in the blender and pull out the beaks.”

Yes, he’s a dad. And yes, he was proud of that.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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What did Dorothy think about her experiences in the Land of Oz?

She was blown away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagingDraugr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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What's the difference between a 48 oz. porterhouse and a falling star?

One's a big steak, the other is a little meteor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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WhereΒ΄s the Wizard of Oz?

So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads.... He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway.... This yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads" he begs her. "I'm hacked off being so visible to predators. The stress is like, killing me, you know?" "Okay" says the fairy godmother, who whips out her magic wand and goes: "Abracapokus! You're brown!" The toad looks down and sees that he is brown! Except..... for his weenie, which was still yellow. "Hang about lady," he says to the fairy godmother, "My pecker's still yellow!" "Yeah, well I don't do weenies," she says, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." So the toad thanks her and hops off on his way. There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother (yes, okay, it's a coincidence, but it's true). "Fairy Godmother! You're just the person I need!" says the purple bear, "I can't pull any bearesses cos they don't want to be seen with a purple bear on account of the hunters. They can spot me from a mile off." Being a fairly nice fairy godmother, she takes out her magic wand. "Oh for goodness sake, what is the matter with you lot round here" she says and with that, she yells: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!" The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown. Except for his goolies, which remain purple.. "Hold up sweetheart!" he says to the fairy Godmother, "My goolies are still purple!" "Yeah, well I don't do those goolie things," she replies, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." "Well that's just dandy, innit?" the bear replies, "How the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?" "Easy," says the fairy godmother as she flew off saying......... "Just follow the yellow-prick toad !!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/janeybabygoboom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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The cast of The Wizard of Oz were asked if they would consider acting in a sequel...

They all said yes except for the Tin Man. He was a bit rusty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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I came home to a string of pictures of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz hung up around the house

my dad said it was a Judy Garland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaiFrankie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2015
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Why is there a wizard of oz but no wizard of kg?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Revoltechs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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