I owed my friend 25 cents, but all I had was a qarter.
π︎ 132
π
︎ Jan 28 2023
What do you call a zombie that owes money?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Dec 31 2022
I owe my success as a fruit farmer to my dear dad. Whenever I felt scared as a kid, he always told me to
π︎ 37
π
︎ Oct 13 2022
I owe everything to subtraction.
It really made a difference in my life.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 19 2022
Amber Heard is worth $2.5 million but owes Johnny $10 million
She's forever in his Depp
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jun 05 2022
I owe a lot to the sidewalks.
Theyβve been keeping me off the streets for years.
π︎ 709
π
︎ Jan 16 2022
It needs dots, not straightening
π︎ 16
π
︎ Mar 08 2023
spreading Christmas cheer
π︎ 232
π
︎ Dec 20 2022
A neutron orders a drink at a bar and asks the bartender what he owes.
The bartender replies, "for you there's no charge."
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 13 2022
I found the Rebel Bass
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 01 2023
Putin dies and goes to hell. After a while, he's given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, he drinks and asks:
-Thanks. How much do I owe you?
-5 euros.
π︎ 37k
π
︎ Aug 13 2022
You owe them that much
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 05 2022
My friends and I keep track of all the Heath bars we owe each other.
You could say we have a Heath Ledger.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 20 2022
What a relief
π︎ 84
π
︎ Dec 14 2022
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 16 2021
What do you says when a friend owes you money ?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 13 2021
Jack owed Johnny a dime. Jack brought Johnny a nickel and 4 pennies. Johnny replied,
βHey, donβt give me that nine cents!β
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 28 2021
Did you guys hear about the gymnast who owed money?
She had an outstanding balance.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 16 2021
On my credit card bill itβs written in tiny fonts that I owed them 666$ β¦
I guess the devil is in the details ..
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 22 2021
What do you say to a friend that owes you money?
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 09 2021
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
I owed my friend $20 so I gave a few dollars, some loose change, and a few small pieces of fried chicken
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 31 2021
The other day, I met a genie who granted me one wish. So, I told him: "I just want to be happy."
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jan 27 2022
I owe my mom a much better mother's day gift for this one
So I hear my niece running around in our house and also a dog running around with her and was immediately confused wondering why she and a dog were just running up and down the hallway. Then I went to see what was happening and she was playing fetch with the dog. So I asked my mom, "then why was she running? Is she simply so stupid that she throws a thing and tries to fetch it herself because for a second there she forgot whether she was the dog or the person?" To which my mom replied, "it wouldn't be farfetched. ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) "
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 10 2019
My wife raises animals and also sells medicines
She's a farmercist
(based on a true story)
π︎ 93
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Why does it take so long for the EU to figure out how much Italy owes them every year?
Hey, ease up. Rome wasn't billed in a day.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 20 2017
If I fart in a service station do they owe me money for gas?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 24 2018
If you owe the plumber money . . .
You better pay the piper.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
I had some work done to my room recently. When the contractor was done, I asked him how much I owed him.
He said, itβs on the house.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
Two guys are walking down the street when a thug lunges from an alley and points a gun at them...
"Gimmie all your money, both of you! Now!" the thug says.Bill says, "Wait! Wait! Wait! Just a minute! Steve, here's that $200 I owe you!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 29 2022
My coworker was changing the ink cartridge on our printer...
Me: Have you been going to the gym?
Him: Yeah, actually! Why?
Me: Because you look...toner.
Him: God damn it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
My friend told me I owed him a solid
To spite him, I gave him some water
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 21 2018
doctor doctor
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 28 2017
I got a second job to pay what I owe to Mr. Clinton and Mr. Cosby..
It's ok. It pays the Bills.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 25 2018
I donβt get along with skydivers!!!
Every one I meet has an altitude problem.
βββββ
Message to Carlos Mencia - I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it but youβll owe me royalties.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 17 2022
I owe a lot to the sidewalks.
Theyβve been keeping me off the streets for years.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 25 2022
I owe a lot to the sidewalks. Theyβve been keeping me off the streets for years.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
As one of the biggest fruit farmers in the country, I owe all of my success to my dear dad. I grew up as a kid who was scared of everything, and my dad always told me to
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 21 2021
I owe a lot to sidewalks....
They've been keeping me off the streets for years.
π︎ 180
π
︎ Feb 27 2018
I really owe a lot to sidewalks.
They've been keeping me off the streets for years.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
A vowel saves another vowel's life.
The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
π︎ 276
π
︎ Apr 25 2022
What do you call a zombie who owes money?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 14 2018
One vowel saves another vowelβs life.
The other vowel says, βAye E! I owe you!β
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 24 2022
I took a second job because I owe money to Mr. Clinton and Mr. Cosby...
It's ok.
It pay the Bills.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 22 2017
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