True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling “I stepped on a Bee!”
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
Why should you never go for a jog if it is raining cats and dogs outside?
You might step in a poodle!
(from my 70 year old uncle)
Why can't skeletons go outside and have fun?
Because they don't have any body to go with.
I was outside, laying down, at night, admiring the stars and the moon
I saw a murder outside my house today...
All the crows were just sitting in my tree...
Amusing hangar outside HOU airport
I'm thinking about covering the outside of my house in unhatched chickens
My wife says it will look too boring, but I think it will be egg siding.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read.
If H2O is on the inside of fire hydrants, what’s on the outside?
I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my ears started ringing
Didn't surprise me, considering how cold tinnitus.
(I'll see myself out)
It is I-C-Y outside
I-C-Y people want to stay indoors, next to the fire
What is Miley Cyrus known as outside of America?
If people are coughing and sneezing so much outside…
Wouldn't that just be ap-pollen.
Lately I’ve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
I’m starting my own hedge fund.
My friends asked me why I hang my grapes outside to dry
I told them, “I have my raisins.”
A fish steps outside her house and get hers fins and gills blown out of order by the weather, so she goes back in for a jacket. Her husband asks, “What’s it like Outside Right Now?” She replies,
TIL my tv hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
Why should you never wear moccasins outside during Winter?
Because it can get a little slippery out there.
You know it's a bit chilly out when you walk outside
And it's a bit chilly out.
We had a foot of snow outside today.
I don’t know who made it or who put it there, but the craftsmanship is amazing.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
I just heard an announcement on a loud speaker outside my home saying, "If you invest 50$ just once, you can sit and eat for the rest of your life".
I went out and saw the idiot; he was selling chairs.
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H
Ewoks aren't meant to be left outside...
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
If I could watch myself tell a bad joke outside
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
I'll never walk down the hall, outside the church, near the courtyard...
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes
I texted "Oh Pun the Door"
My Roomba accidentally went outside our front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.
I let my cat outside today but when I started listening to Daft Punk she rushed back inside
I guess she is more of a house cat
My wife was disappointed at my idea to put her shoes outside last night......
I thought I'd just put the Fila's out there
Parked outside my favourite restaurant and ended up with a parking ticket...
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of shit.
Why are accountants scared to go outside?
Because it's accrual world out there.
Campers are so passionate about where they sleep outside.
My dog has been chewing on sticks when let her outside.
Now she barks out of both ends.
The Government Accidentally Built A Prison Outside My Home,
I Guess You Could Say I'm Under House Arrest.
When it's not raining, snowing or hot outside, what is it?
Why skeletons can't go outside and have fun?
Because they don't have any body to go with.
Source:
Borrowed from r/UncleJokes
It's raining cats and dogs outside...
Try not to step in a poodle!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
If H20 is inside a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
It is raining cats and dogs outside.
I almost stepped in a poodle.
You know that it is cold outside when
You go outside and it is cold.
You know it’s cold outside
When you go outside and it’s cold.
If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
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