By buddies and I were drinking beer and cracking jokes, but things started to get out of hand.
It was quite the brew-haha.
I tried to take my dog out of her crate and she peed on my hands
She really pissed me off
Graffiti around here is getting out of hand
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
The baby sheep got out of their pen and I impulsively grabbed a sheep with my right hand and a sheep with my left...
I guess I'm just lambidextrous...
I'll show y'all to the door.
What do you call a tree made out of hands?
A palm tree
My cocaine addiction is getting out of hand
It's time to draw the line.
As part of my community service, I had to hand out cans of pineapple to needy families...
I Doled it out.
I need to cut these nails, they are getting out of hand
Whoever figured out the 'days of the month correspond with your knuckles' thing had too much time on their hands
How do you know when things are getting out of hand?
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
The sign language post got out of hand
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine
Political correctness is getting way out of hand
Math puns getting out of hand
Puns about throwing things is getting out of hand.
These jokes about boomerangs are really getting out of hand...
And then back into hand.
The "I am your father" part in Star Wars was really out of hand.
This one got out of hand pretty quick.
My son has a real problem with setting things on fire, and it's getting out of hand...
He's been a real pain in my arson.
Talking to my GF " so I got this from a chick at work today" (hand her a piece of paper) daughter freaks out in the background, "a chick?!? I wanna see I wanna see can I hold it?" Lmao
Microsoft Office puns got out of hand...
Why does Emperor Palpatine shoot electricity out of his hands?
Because he's in charge.
I was going to learn how to juggle, but I was too afraid things would get out of hand.
And who am I kidding, I just didn't have the balls.
I knew that my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers had gotten out of hand, so it was time to quit...
Cold turkey.
My ten-year-old son: Dad, did you hear about the barn party after midnight that was getting out of hand?...
... Finally the sheep yells, stop horsing around, Iām trying to sheep. - Love this kid.
After using the restroom the Pope went to dry his hands but had run out of papel towels.
I'm a relatively new dad. My 2 year old daughter was eating a banana in the car. From the back seat, she started to hand me sections of the banana peel when I blurted this out:
"Don't do that, you'll hurt his peelings!"
Guys, I really think that /r/dadjokes is getting out of hand...
http://i.imgur.com/BRTEE5S.jpg
Watched my pregnant wife walk over to the fridge and pull out a bottle of Poland Springs. As she was coming back sit down I said "Shouldn't you be holding that with both hands?"
"We wouldn't want your water to break."
What do you call a tree thats made out of hands?
A palm tree
These anti-ethernet superPACs are just getting out of hand
http://imgur.com/a/dLWF2
