Along with gender dysphoria, my doctor wanted to address my poor oral health.

She prescribed me trans-and-dental medication.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.

Either oar.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenisMcK
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Kindly stolen from my friend who is an ER doc.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxtrot_uckilo
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What does working for the mafia and oral sex have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you’re in deep shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/24_7meatslinger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Castille_92
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started. I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you..."

"...have plaque on your wall?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I hate dentists.

Bad oral hygiene can cause so many bad things in your mouth, yet they tell you to brush it off.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pokebandit91
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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As a pharmacist who usually writes instruction labels for oral medications...

Most of what I say to patients is ingest.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheweduproach
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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Me: "Be good with oral hygiene. Buying new teeth is really expensive."

Dad: "False."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.

Now all I need is a toothbrush.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between oral and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your hole weak

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welfarejohn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

This is one of my dad’s favorite jokes to tell, he passed away two years ago, miss you a lot dad!

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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How to tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pegacornian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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The Jedi created a new form of data compression for oral communication during combat

It can store up to a Yoda bite.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s-dubya
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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What do you call a vampire Oral Surgeon?

Extract-ula

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
My doctor was struggling to write my prescription when I said β€œDoctor, that’s a rectal thermometer in your hand!”

He replied, β€œDammit! Some asshole’s got my pen!”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seattledandy
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If you want to know what a magician uses to brush his teeth...

...just wait until bed time, Oral-B revealed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_mcphatty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I told a dad joke in a dream last night.

Someone was taking about their oral and aural studies. I said, "We don't listen when you talk about that." I woke myself up laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I passed my dentistry tests with an A in my written paper.

In Oral, B.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you take your coffee?

Orally.

From CGPGrey: http://www.reddit.com/r/CGPGrey/comments/1x3guw/hello_internet_a_10_episode_podcast_experiment/cf7xh6e

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zapolon2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Coffee dadjoke

My buddy ordered a cup of coffee. When the waitress asked him how he takes his coffee, he said, "Usually orally, but I'm open to suggestions."

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doc_Noir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
🚨︎ report
I saved this dad joke for 30 years for just the right moment...

I think I "invented" this joke when I was around 15, but I'm sure others have as well since it's not too subtle. The key, though, was that I waited for just the right moment to use it for the first time.

I had an ear infection, so I went to the doctor, who took a look and quickly diagnosed it and wrote a prescription and handed it to me.

> Doctor: It's just an ear infection, so 4 drops of this daily should clear it right up.

> Me: [Reading the prescription, and seeing the name of the antibiotic, but I may be wrong about the name, so if anyone knows the right name, please reply.] [Completely seriously.] Oraline? So, I put the drops in my mouth?

> Doctor: [Quizzically.] No, no, no, you put it in your ear!

> Me: Oh, I read the name, and "Oraline" sounds like something you'd take orally.

> Doctor: Nope, in the ear.

> Me: [Remembering my dad joke.] It's a good thing that you didn't prescribe me analgesics.

The doctor had no reaction, just said their deadpan goodbye and left. I've wondered if they didn't get it, didn't think it was funny, or had heard it hundreds of times before.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaedW
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Another spanish dad joke for you

ΒΏCuΓ‘l nacionalidad tiene el mejor salud oral?

Los Canadientes.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I asked for a chemistry joke, and he responded with this.

What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thekatzkid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
🚨︎ report
They had to rename the Oval Office after the Monica Lewinsky incident

It's now called the Oral Office.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PCHardware101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlugBoy42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aashaychavishay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magicmitchmtl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal one?

The flavor.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knackerthrasher
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and an anal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LDJ007
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrynot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a rectal and, a oral thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jesuscide
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peanut31
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nihilman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Link_s09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?

The taste

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirtydan2003
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phatbatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer, and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lumber__Zach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you tell a rectal thermometer from an oral thermometer?

The flavor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amd20555
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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