My buddy Jerry had to get taken to the hospital, unfortunately it looked like he needed to be operated on. He was unconscious and when he came to, he asked βwhatβs going to happen, am I going to be alright?β
I told him; βSurgeryβ.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
Getting operated on for hernia is not for the cowardly.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
What do you call a subpar landscaping service operated by dogs?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 14 2017
Have you been to the cafe that's owned and operated by T-Rexes?
The food is good but the service is slow. They're always short handed.
π︎ 27
π
︎ May 09 2017
What do you call a PR stand at a fair being operated by classy and respectful aspiring dentists?
A couth youth tooth booth.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 06 2017
As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
π︎ 147
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
Did you know that Dogs, regardless of breed, cannot operate complex medical equipment?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
My boss said to me, βYou are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?β
I said, βIβm not sure. Itβs so hard to keep track.β
π︎ 644
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
Let's not talk about operation barbarossa. That topic is very offensive
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
Dogs canβt operate MRI machines.
. ....................But catscan.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Whatβs the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Mar 03 2021
I just got a new job as a guillotine operator....
π︎ 140
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
I recently got a job as an elevator operator
It has its ups and downs.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Operating a solar farm is probably easy
After all, it's a light crop
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
What's a celibate person's favourite operating system?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
What would u call Hitler if he got removed of his own dick by operation and put someone else's dick there?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
System of Operating
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
My mail man just had a sex change operation.
I guess I should call him a post man now
π︎ 37
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
What would happen if you give McDonalds an operating system
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
What happens if you give a site foreman an operating system
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
She fell in love with a crane operator
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
What mathematical operation do the French despise?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
I had to call tech support for my computer the other day.
Tech Support: βIt seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.β
Me: βSo?β
π︎ 33
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
After the Sex change operation, The Juggler is too scared to try juggling again.
It seems he doesnβt have the balls to do it again.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
Operation Pothole
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 10 2019
How can you tell if a booty is operational?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
What's similar between strippers and those who operate election booths?
They're both poll workers.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
A bloke wakes up in hospital after an operation and shouts "Doctor I cant feel my legs"
The doctor said i know we chopped your arms off.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.
They said I was weaving all over the road.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Trying to figure out the reason why I have such difficulty with operating my doorbell.
I just canβt put my finger on it.
π︎ 34
π
︎ May 23 2020
Why did Ho Chi Minh never conduct espionage operations at Christmas?
That's the only time anyone actually looks for Minh's spies.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
Yesterday I met Sally, a young woman who operates a battery kiosk at our local community park.
Sally sells C-cells by the Seesaw.
π︎ 41
π
︎ May 22 2020
Did you hear that someone kidnapped Sting?
Currently the police have no lead.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
That steam roller operator said the nicest thing to me as he ran me over...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
Ever since I went through with my sex change operation my kids have been completely ignoring me
It's like I'm transparent.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
Sounds like a huge Oper-TUNA-ty!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
My buddy and I used to be Marijuana dealers and we always split our profits evenly between us.
π︎ 139
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, βHave a good day, son.β I replied, βDonβt call me son, youβre not my dad.β He scratched his head and said...
βNo, but I brought you up, didnβt I?β
π︎ 90
π
︎ May 14 2020
Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
My dog is angry because he canβt operate the MRI machine....
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
Dogs can't operate MRI machines,
π︎ 122
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Dogs canβt operate MRI Machines
π︎ 26
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Dogs canβt operate MRI machines.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
My boss said to me, βYou are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?β
I said, βIβm not sure. Itβs so hard to keep track.β
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 05 2020
Dogs canβt operate MRI machines.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
Dogs canβt operate MRI machines.
π︎ 46
π
︎ Jul 03 2020
Dogs can't operate MRI scanners.
π︎ 405
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
Dogs can not operate MRI machines
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
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