A monkey was sitting on the train tracks waiting for a train. When a train ran over its tail the monkey said, "It won't be long now!"
but they never say when it’ll hit.
... Re Post-it Notes.
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
They were still arguing when the train hit them tho 🚞
It's your Yelp score
A laugh track!
She wasn't Intuit
It was a loco motive
Does that mean you have to log it?
She told me it was sole destroying
I don't like to discus it.
Well train-ed.
Because they forgot their training wheels.
So we were having a handball tournament where we were allowed to name our own teams. So before the finals game, one of my coaches says "The two teams in the finals are the "brownies" and the "cupcakes"." Then my other coach, who is older and a dad, goes "sounds like a sweet deal"
He's training.
During my 21st birthday this year, I was on a train back from Edinburgh to London. Halfway through the journey the train came to a halt, and the driver announced that the standstill was due to a herd of cows crossing the track.
Without any hesitation I exclaimed "well, it doesn't look like we're gonna be mooooving for quite some time..."
Everyone on the carriage groaned accordingly.
My fiancee knocked on to the floor at a friends house, a single slice cake we had got from Smith's; comes packaged in a small, square plastic container, and was still in the container when it hit the carpet. I still proceeded to give her a hard time saying she did it on purpose, etc. As she reached over to pick it up she accidentally dipped her shirt on to the top of a caramel covered brownie she was eating. She sat back up and noticed the caramel circle covering the nipple of her shirt, and without second thought cries, "Aww man, caramel's a bitch."
