6:30 is the best time on a clock.
One time I posted 10 jokes in a row, hoping at least one would make Dads laugh on r/dadjokes
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..
I heard on the news, a man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun.
Apparently he's now completely recovered
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
Every time we go to the putting green, my friend has to bring along a bag of Pringles to munch on...
He always wants to practice his chipping.
I saw a dude’s truck that said Master Baitor on it one time now I don’t fish but I want that
I crossed the border into Mexico without much hassle. Crossing it a second time was fine too, but on the third time a guard stopped me and said “Sorry
Why couldn't the computer get to work on time?
Time to put on the costume
One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.
“Sorry, mister,” he said. “I’m up to my ears in work.”
Next time I'm on a roller coaster, I'm bringing some nuts and bolts with me.
When nearly on the top, scream with a panic voice at the guy infront, "LOOK BRO, THESE FELL OUT OF YOUR SEAT."
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
Every time I go to the liquor store, a dude comes out of nowhere to give me advice on what to buy.
He’s my spirit guide.
Edit: Thanks guys.
Why can't the bike ever get up on time?
We got a new microwave at work. After heating my food for the first time in the new microwave I go to my colleagues and say to them "I just cut my fingers on the new microwave!"
They all startled "what happened?"
I reply "it's Sharp!"
They murmured something and left the room...
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
Went on a trek on time..
Down south in the backwoods. Along my way I met a friendly family that took me in for the night. Despite being impoverished they insisted that I stay the night and have dinner.
When we had dinner it seemed they were serving a kind of stew. Quite aromatic. I asked them what it was and the reply I got was “It’s Ma’s Soup Y’all.” I shrugged my shoulders and started to eat. The food was good of course but the meat was quite gamey. So I asked what type of meat it was?
‘Possum.
A cable repairman was on our street today and asked what time it is.
I told him it's between 8am and 1pm.
The one time I took a librarian on a date, she cost me a bloody fortune.
My own fault though, I kept her out too long.
Knew an bird watcher who lived so long he saw every bird except one. On his deathbed he was asked if he thought he used his time well
He said he had no Egretes
There is a religious veterinarian who has a strict rule that only one vet can work on large animals at a time
Because it is a sin to co-vet an oxen or donkey.
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
I posted this on r/memes a while ago and it didn't blow up or somthing. I am just so proud of this it makes me laugh every time
Made this a while ago when I had way too much time on my hands
Donald Trump should drop the ball in Times Square on New Years Eve
He certainly has plenty of experience
Every time I lie down on my new bed, all the embarrassing moments from high school come flooding back to me.
I shouldn’t have bought the repressed memory foam mattress.
My first time on an elevator was very uplifting
I don't know why people expect Time's Square to put on a decent New Year's Eve show.
They're always dropping the ball.
I'm going to share with you the greatest secret for always being on time
I spent so much time working on this
Well, it's that time on New Year's Eve. I'll see you all...
My first time posting on my cake day!
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Poleish
Merry Christmas!!!
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)
What kind of candy is neve on time ?
What time do you eat on leg day?
I don’t know why I have such a hard time putting on a scarf.
I just can’t wrap my head around it.
What do you call a guy who always arrives on time
Justin time. (Got it from that tracer voiceline)
My daughter refused to go to bed on time.
I told her she’d be booked for resisting a rest.
What did Baby Yoda say the first time he watched The Mandalorian on a high-def screen?
Not HDMI, because Baby Yoda can't speak.
Whats the best time on a clock?
What is the best time on the clock?
6:30 is the best time on a clock
Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.
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