Why does God only accept offerings of Swiss cheese?
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︎ May 25 2021
UPS is now offering hepatectomies
They guarantee you'll be delivered on time.
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︎ May 13 2021
Making church offerings is dangerous for your wallet
Paying tithing just decimates your income
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Carnival is offering a deluxe trip where you leave your senior citizens and kids behind in the snow..
They are calling it βTed Cruiseβ
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Social distancing has led to Hooters offering delivery to your door.
Theyβre changing their name to Knockers.
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︎ Apr 27 2020
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
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︎ Dec 27 2020
A bank was offering loan without interest.
I flat out refused. Why would I take money from someone who has no interest?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN
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︎ Jul 23 2020
How much was Texas Instruments fined when they were caught offering free breast augmentation procedures to employees?
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︎ Feb 11 2020
The local paper ran a front page article about offering a large print edition to be more accessible.
Apparently it was big news.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
My local meat market is offering Wookie meat
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︎ Mar 06 2020
The city of St. Louis is offering huge tax breaks to major corporations so that big businesses can move in.
Because Missouri loves Company.
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︎ May 19 2019
I went to high school with a Buzzfeed writer, and I remember him offering me $20 to hang out with him and his friends.
Turns out it was Clique bait.
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︎ Apr 19 2019
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling
this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much
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︎ Nov 12 2018
In exchange for peace, the US is offering North Korea a shipment of transparent rockets.
So that Kim Jong Un can still claim to have new clear weapons.
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︎ May 10 2018
A sister was at the brothel offering patrons some puns,
but they didn't want nun.
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︎ Jan 17 2018
Out of the blue, I decided to take my wife to a commercial establishment offering health and beauty treatment through such means as steam baths, exercise equipment, and massage
You could say the decision was pretty spa-radic
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︎ Apr 12 2019
I heard McDonald's would be offering steak on the menu.
I personally think it will be their biggest McStake ever.
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︎ May 14 2019
I was going to apply at a vegetarian restaurant until I saw they were actually offering to pay an annual celery.
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︎ Mar 30 2019
My favorite brand of almonds is offering a free tank of gasoline with every purchase
Blue Diamond Fill-Ups have been a big hit
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︎ Mar 22 2019
What's the proper response to one of your friends offering you a pamphlet?
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︎ Nov 25 2018
Some guy just tried offering me a killer deal on a coffin
I just said, "that's probably the last thing I need!"
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︎ Jun 18 2018
There's a scarcity of parking space in our vicinity but our premises are relatively big. So, I regularly help nearby companies by offering them a space for their cars on our grounds.
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︎ Mar 16 2018
My bank is no longer offering its new savings account
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︎ Aug 01 2017
There's an email going around offering free processed pork gelatin and salt in a can, if you get this email, do not open it!
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︎ Sep 27 2018
There is an email going around offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can.
If you get this email, DO NOT open it.
It is SPAM.
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︎ Jan 10 2016
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