I once saw two octopuses that looked the exact same.
They must have been itentacle twins.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Feb 05 2019
Why do people hate camping with octopuses?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 22 2016
Why don't octopuses like meeting new people?
It takes too long to shake hands!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 06 2017
Dad joke about octopuses
On a car ride with my dad and some friends, the subject of octopuses came up. One girl started blabbing facts and ended up saying "octopuses have 3 hearts" to which my dad replied "they must be very sentimental"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 17 2014
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
Did you hear about the octopus that played football?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you get when you cross a cat with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
What was wrong with the busy octopus?
Nothing, he was just octopiβd.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 30 2020
How did the octopus do on his first football match?
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 30 2020
Why'd the giant octopus eat 2 ships filled with potatoes?
Cuz you can't eat just one potato ship.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
Shark: Once, I had a tough fight with an octopus.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
Nathan W. Pyle is one of my favorite artists.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ May 22 2020
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I donβt know what to make of it.
π︎ 71
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
What do you call an Octopus addicted to drugs?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
What do you call an octopus that's missing one tentacle?
π︎ 82
π
︎ Nov 30 2019
Do you know why an octopus is so good at American Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 11 2020
Why did the octopus blush?
It just saw the bottom of the ocean.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 16 2020
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
An octopus was filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop filming
They were experiencing tentacle difficulties
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
Octopus : [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat : You're one short buddy
π︎ 52
π
︎ Sep 17 2019
What do you call a Mexican octopus dish?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 29 2019
Why was the octopus lauging?
Because god gave it ten tickles.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
How does an octopus go into battle?
π︎ 197
π
︎ Mar 03 2019
What did the octopus say about his cards
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus. He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldnβt bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldnβt play...
One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadnβt been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.
The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began play.
There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player.
The man paid his handler $50 and sat down.
Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus.
The octopus took it and stared for a bit.
After a minute or two the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo.
This man paid his $50 and sat down.
The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bag pipes.
The bartender said, βIβll bet $100 that the octopus canβt play these bagpipes.β
The man agreed and handed them to the octopus.
The octopus sat there eyeing the bagpipes up and down for quite awhile.
The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus, βHurry up and start playing the thingβ
The octopus spewed, βPlay it?! I wanna marry her!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
How does an octopus go to war?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 27 2019
An octopusβs limbs look exactly alike
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 09 2019
If an octopus is an octopus because it has eight legs, does that mean that cats should instead be called quadropuss?
You know, because it has four legs... and a cat is also called a puss.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 27 2019
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 14 2019
Doctor Octopus robbed a bank this morning.
He didn't have a gun, but he was well armed.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 28 2018
What do a octopus and a human have in common?
They are both fairly dumb compared to the ultimately attainable intelligence of a biological organism given the use of cognitive enhancement utilizing vast computational resources.
(Yea thatβs the joke, this is my first day on the job and Iβm trying to impress the boss.) what am I saying
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
What's the difference between an octopus and a mocktopus?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 13 2019
What did the cool octopus say when he met up with some old friends?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 10 2019
Octopus joke
Know any jokes about an octopus?
No, but let me βinkβ about it!!! πππ½
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 23 2018
Did you know I'm an octopus?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 28 2019
Why did the octopus keep giggling?
Because it had ten...tickles!
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 22 2018
What do you call a startled octopus?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 24 2018
Why did the octopus have only six legs?
Because it was two short.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 30 2018
How many tickles does in take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
How many tickles does is take to make an octopus laugh
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
What does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jul 11 2020
How do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 26 2020
How do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
How many tickles does it take to make and octopus laugh?
8?
No.... itβs ten. Ten-tickles. π
π︎ 47
π
︎ May 10 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 19 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles....
Iβm not sorry.
π︎ 107
π
︎ Nov 23 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 20 2019
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 10 2019
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
How many tickles does is take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
Why didnβt the shark want to fight the octopus?
Because he knew the octopus was well-armed.
π︎ 359
π
︎ Sep 05 2018
What does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Mar 29 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 25
π
︎ May 11 2019
How do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 02 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jan 06 2019
How do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 26 2019
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles π
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 10 2019
How many tickles does an octopus need to get a laugh?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 06 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 15 2018
How do you make an octopus laugh
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 18 2018
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Nov 12 2018
How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 22 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 24 2018
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 85
π
︎ Mar 10 2018
how do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 29 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 23 2019
How many tickles does it to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 23 2019
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because it was well armed.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Oct 05 2018
Why did the octopus blush?
Because she saw the oceans bottom.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 04 2019
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 27 2019
How do you make an octopus laugh ?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 07 2018
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 19 2018
How do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
How do you make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 11 2018
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?
Because the octopus was well armed.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 29 2018
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 07 2018
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 30 2018
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