What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?

Ten Tickles!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieCrazy55
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Good boi Kraken
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebtcrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What's Kraken
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Void_SNR
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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Ever since the kraken quit smoking..

He’s been Davy Jonesing

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?

Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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whats kraken
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honeymagician
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Is your life Kraken lackin’?
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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What does the kraken eat for breakfast?

Boatmeal.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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What do Krakens eat?

Fish and ships....

Not actually a "dad" joke but told to me by Mr11 while I was in the middle of a teleconference.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/venzann
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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What is a sea monsters favourite food

Fish and ships

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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A sailor walks into a thrift store after he lost a limb to a giant octopus

He said β€œI heard this is a second-hand shop, where they at?”

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?

What’s Kraken!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Someone just threw a squid at my car...

Now my windshield is kraken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Why'd the giant octopus eat 2 ships filled with potatoes?

Cuz you can't eat just one potato ship.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boofaka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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These sea monster jokes are so funny

They had me kraken

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paidtohavesex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.

He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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I can't stop laughing about the NHL's newest franchise

It's Kraken me up

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?

It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Did you know mythological creatures have their own dentist's office?

It's true, I saw it today and they were suuuuuuper busy! The waiting room was packed, and every time the orderly would come out to call in another patient, the half-man-half-horse would get all excited; "is it my turn now? oh, pick me, pick me!" and all that jazz. Of course, every time it was actually someone else's turn; the Kraken, or the Minotaur, or the Chupacabra. Eventually it seemed to get on the Satyr's nerves, because he yelled over "pipe down, Mike, we're all sick of you needing to be the Centaur of attention!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbadxampl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Can someone start a conversation full of ocean puns with me please?

Start the conversation... You will sea the point, it's kraken me up XD

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rulerofthehell
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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What did the cool octopus say when he met up with some old friends?

What's kraken?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Osariik
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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Why wasn't the giant squid terrorising ships last night?

He was too busy Kraken open a cold one with the Buoys

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blxckoxt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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"Hey guys..."

I was playing FFXIV with my husband and one of our friends. We had all been drinking (me more than them).The three of us were all in our living room, and as we approach the final boss area in one of the dungeons we hadn't done before, this rears up out of the water and I shriek, "HEY GUYS! WHAT'S KRAKEN???!!!"

Our friend turned around in his seat with the most disgusted expression on his face, pointed at me, and said, "Get out."

I started giggling so hard I nearly fell off the couch, and sputtered: "Sorry. I'll quit kraken stupid jokes."

Ha. Yayyyy puns. :3

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karu4Link
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
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Do you know why they stopped using the old-style tuna nets?

It defeats the porpoise. http://i.imgur.com/bw1fYaO.jpg

(I'm a dad.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwilder204
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2015
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What did one fish say to the other?

What's Kraken?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlidBlackgun
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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How do you greet a painted, Asian styled statuette of a sea monster?

"What's crackalackin', you lacquered Kraken?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
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Here's a small insight of what my siblings and I have had to deal with our entire lives.

So, its the day "Clash of the Titans' comes out in theaters. My dad decides to take my brother and I, (we're all big fans), so we get there early and are waiting out in the lobby, my dad and brother go to the bathroom, I wait on a bench for them. A few minutes go by and I see them coming out, my dad giggling at himself, my brother red with embarrassment, and some men behind them laughing.. I want to know, but do I really want to know?

"What did you do?"

He proceeded to tell me of how he overheard some guys chatting about how excited they are for the movie, then realized everyone in there was probably going to see the same movie we are, so he thought it would be a good idea to get in the conversation. He calmy unzipped his pants and yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" as he peed.

And that was all he said.

My poor brother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterMegan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2013
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They might need to replace that window soon...

http://imgur.com/vJSCfN9

...because it was kraken.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ceeBread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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What do british krakens eat?

Fish and ships

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crycos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2016
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All sea monsters jokes are...

Kraken me up

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNamesWinter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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What did the sea monster say to the comedian?

You're kraken me up

πŸ‘︎ 810
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πŸ‘€︎ u/godset
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
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