A relatable inanimate object pun that I drawded.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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What is the object oriented way to get wealthy?

Inheritance.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MjarjoSAC11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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My wife is such a sex object.

Every time I want sex, she objects.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psburrito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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A report just came out exposing how the government's mishandling of an explosive object could've caused the deaths of hundreds of civilians

It was a bombshell

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MRTJ115
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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My wife got mad at me for have sexual affairs with inanimate objects

I told her it was one night stand...

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I have started freezing different objects at -273.15Β°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.

I call it the 0k boomer experiment.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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We preserve objects very well these days.

Soon, artefacts may just become a thing of the past.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artifcial_autism
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Who would run a country where there are only objects used for geometrical drawing?

The Supreme Ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alepanino
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Im quivering in my boots
πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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My wife said I can't treat people like objects.

I'm not so sure I can live with that.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The Muppets teamed up with NASA to name a newly discovered celestial object.

Upon its first sighting, the Jim Henson Company issued a press release, "Comet Defrog here."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Two people are at someone's funeral

The host asks the guest, "Would you like to say a word?" The guest than goes up than says, "Bargain" The host starts crying and says, "That means a great deal."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickenDinaa__
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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What is the most sexual object in the world?

A door, because it wont stop banging the frame.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSnuffy
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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This one weird object will literally shock you!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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I have no objection to people being spontaneous,

I just think there is a time and a place for it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A clock is the most likely object to get corona

because it always has its hands on it's face

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsgregbuddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s funny they call them β€œunidentified flying objects”

I could identify them right away. those are ufos.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbloobr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
If you die from smoking weed does that mean that you were killed by a blunt object?
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Gabe had a heavy load this semester

Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.

β€œIt’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. β€œI’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”

β€œWell, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.

β€œWhat are you talking about?” he yelped.

β€œYou know why, Gabe,” I said. β€œThose who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do flat round throwing objects sort their opinional differences?

A Discussion

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Frankenstein enters a body building competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leianarodriguez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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I think I lost my sense of object permanence

Never mind its back

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimi444
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Meditate on it
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OffDutyTaoist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are three-dimensional objects so good at cutting down trees?

They have three axes.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Them: Don’t treat women like objects

Me: Women women = new Women();

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I just found out that a circle is the most pointless object
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jwp04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Hooters’ new contactless delivery service?

For a while it was knockers, but now it’s just honkers

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadzoned3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I made an object that simulates how something travels downhill

I called it a roll model

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LashGips
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What fee is connected to every wedding and no-one objects?

Photography

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soylent_X
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Is this safe to eat?

No, the safe stores valuable objects.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was just swapping out objects on the mantle, and my son asked why she was putting bamboo up there.

I told him she was decorating for Halloween, and they both just gave me a flat look. Then with a grin on my face I simply said bamBOO!! Much to my wife’s dismay my 6 year old has been repeating it for the last 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lancer611
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A 1-D object and a 2-D object walk into a bar

The 1-D object turns to the 2-D object

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S4T4N1C
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œDear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”

My therapist: Yes, I see that. Stop calling me Diary.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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At least, he "seas" his objective clearly...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manuelrcasimiro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns, or is it just me?
πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humeon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend and I started a business where we weigh microscopic objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I just started a business where we specialize in weighing tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I've just started a business where I weigh tiny objects.

It's a small scale operation

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend and I just started a business where we weigh tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I call my wife the sex object.

Anytime i want sex, she objects.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcharlesboyle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends and I started a business where we weigh really tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I just started my own business where we weigh tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 327
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend and I started a business where we weigh tiny objects.

It’s a small scale operation.

πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report

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