Why don't professional boxers have sex before a fight ?
Thy probably don't like each other.
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.
Good players are hard to find.
I have never actually used a professional telescope in my life.
It’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
What do positively charged particles have in common with professional sumo wrestling teams?
I’ve considered becoming a professional horse groomer.
I became a professional fisherman...
But discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
Why do referees in professional rugby always give penalties against chickens?
Because they always award against professional fowls.
Why do some types of healthcare professionals only care about themselves?
Because they're nurse assists.
Professional procrastinator
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
Amazon delivered my new Ninja professional blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
What do you call medical professionals who don't feed their patients after an overnight stay in the hospital?
Doctors without boarders.
My dream of becoming the first professional boxer/pirate were crushed....
The boxing commission said my right hook was illegal.
My friend is a professional skydiver.
He really throws himself into his work.
My wife, Ming, told me, "You would look more professional without that funny bow tie." I have to wear it though. I explained to her, "My jokes aren't funny without...
Did you hear about the professional bowler who was also a gymnast?
The guy who did my urinalysis made way too many jokes to be a professional
It was a complete pisstake
My dog decided to become a professional at barking
I think I'll get him a subwoofer
Ordering pizza with my 3 year old.
Me: do you want ranch or blue cheese?
3yr old: ranch is for horses
Little guy Caught me off guard lol
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
I want to hire a group of professional hackers
To antagonize a local QT and mess with their registers. That way I can get a snack, wait in line and every five minutes say, punctually, "Man, this quick trip is taking a long time."
It'll be my entertainment for an afternoon.
My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.
He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.
Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
What’s the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?
I was going to make a joke about a professional Boxer
But he blocked my punch line
Security professionals advise to never use ‘beef stew’ as a password
I once got my toe nails professionally trimmed. They used a hardened steel tool for smoothing my clipped nails...
In other words, a pedi-file.
My wife dated a professional clown before we started going out.
I had some big shoes to fill.
How much money do professional ice skaters make in a year?
Eight figures but unfortunately they can't access it because their accounts are frozen.
Steve Tyler has quit the music business and become a professional fletcher...
His shop is called Arrowsmith.
What’s the one thing professional poker players and plumbers can agree on?
A royal flush is better than a full house
Did you hear about the professional skier who started to use performance enhancing drugs?
He went downhill real fast.
I once tried to be a professional juggler
I had to quit, there was just too much up in the air at the time
My friend was a professional opera soloist...
It was her aria of expertise.
I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.
I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.
Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didn’t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.
My friend is a professional sewer inspector
Those who cry professionally,
Give a whole new meaning to good mourning.
It would be impossible to host a professional hide n seek tournament
Since good players are hard to find
I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman
But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income
Why is organizing a professional hide-and-seek tournament hard?
It's hard to find good players.
Working in Produce the last few years has made me realize I'm a professional musician...
I work with beet boxes and I wrap!
I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete disaster.
Good players are hard to find.
I used to be a professional fisherman
Then discovered I couldn't live on my net income
My idea of a professional Hide and Seek tournament failed miserably.
Good players are hard to find.
My wife dated a professional clown before she met me.
I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
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