Even Batman has tough days
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schemesymcplots
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
It must be tough working in the shipping and receiving department of a zoo.

No one ever addresses the elephant in the room.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 85
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigtuna_burger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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Due to the Covid crisis, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times.

They fired all Naan essential staff.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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I just read that times were real tough for musicians in the early 17th century...

They were all Baroque

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/qwopcircles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
So Gandhi fasted every day. His body got weaker and weaker. His feet grew incredibly tough from walking barefoot. He was deep into Hindu spirituality. Unfortunately, he had chronic bad breath.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jfshay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I was just reading this story about a guy who went through several tough breaks in life and couldn’t get ahead. One day he just stopped talking and his only way of communicating was through hand and body motion.......

Poor guy turned to a life of mime.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mjleak72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a really tough day today. I figured you would appreciate that my wife suggested I peruse r/dad jokes while she drew me a relaxing bath.

I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theknight618
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m giving up being an electrician.

I just conduit anymore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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Tough times, you need to be upbeat
πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MostExpensiveThing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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Owning rabbits is tough.

Some might say it's a harey situation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Buggnugg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Busted a nut...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 180
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZaKrypton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Lawyer say after having a tough financial year?

My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nnntridib
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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It's tough to swallow your pride.

Unless you are a cannibal lion

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_litt1e_stitious
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It's tough to admit that I'm using too much weight on my bench press.

I'm having a hard time getting this off my chest.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Shark: Once, I had a tough fight with an octopus.

He was well-armed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/khAngnghiEmm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
7, 8, and 9 are the only members of their gang. 7 is the fighter, small but tough; 9 is the conman, big but nice; and 8...

is between 7 and 9, average and mean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Freklred
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s tough to come up with a new brand of bug spray.

You always have to start from scratch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
This quarantine is getting tough

I had to sell my air guitar collection on ebay

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tjeters
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Because dawn is tough on Greece.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 410
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/westtxfun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today

They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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Tough guy, huh?

They served Wookie steaks on the Death star.....they were a little Chewie...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MilPens
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A tough one found on the Punderland home on Balboa Island. (Answer in comments)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/frisbeeluna
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad was demoted to part time as orchestra conductor due to budget cuts

Now he's a semiconductor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CynAq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Times are tough... I had to sell my dishwasher

Boy, do I miss her

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/r00ski5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening.

Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.

So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.

He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.

As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.

She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.

This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.

When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.

This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.

The two couldn't be happier!

They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.

One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.

She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.

She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.

A shallot, if you will.

A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.

They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.

The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.

Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.

Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.

He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.

One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.

The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.

She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Driving in Mexico can sure be tough...

All the ese-curves mean you gotta be on your toes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ashwinvias
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Tough day at the muffle centre today...

... you might say it was exhausting πŸ’¨

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rachelsfriendfriend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Tough day being a plumber...

... was draining πŸ’¦

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rachelsfriendfriend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cannibalistic comedian say when the audience was hard to eat?

"Tough crowd."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/name_is_3-20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Jewish people are so strong

Muscle tough

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b-dummy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this....

I’ve never heard him complain

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Addictions are tough to overcome...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMajicman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Two strips of tarmac are arguing about who is the toughest. They have in idea to fight the shady looking guy in the corner to prove how tough they are. The barman stops them.

I wouldn't mess with him lads. He's a cycle path.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/callos05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been self isolating with coronavirus

Above all, I’ve found it tough to stay positive.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Growing up can be tough... reddit.com/r/3amjokes/com…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/meoffagain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My Calculus Professor is having a tough time adjusting to retired life.

He can’t seem to deal with the aftermath.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Tyrannosaurus rex eggs are tough to break out of.

It makes a little dino sore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the people of Athens not wake up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HornyBastard37484739
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Being a scarecrow is a tough job...

but hay... It’s in my jeans.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 72
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/papadooku
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't people in Athens get up early?

Because dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘οΈŽ 84
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/undeleted-error_76
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The world tongue twister champion got arrested

I hear they are going to give a really tough sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bonp27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are Greeks not morning people? Because Dawn is tough on grease.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mookster1338
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report

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