Eating a free hot dog.
Friend: How does it taste?
Me: Quite good, frankly.
Friend: Do you practice puns?
And that's the proudest I've ever felt.
What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?
because It didn't habenero . .
They say practice healthy eating…
Where can you practice multiplication tables on New Year's Eve?
My daughter was practicing her flute today, she said at bar 45 she needs to add in a breath mark.
I teared up, after all these years she still doesn't know my name is David.
Unlike Judaism, a ceremonial ritual for slaughtered food is not practiced in Christianity.
That's separation of church and steak.
They just found a planet practically identical to earth, but it has two suns.
TIL that Jackie Onassis Kennedy has a famous sister. She is practically a household name.
May Onassis, she married into the Helmanns family.
Did you hear about the queue for practical jokes?
It was a great punch-line.
I started practicing complementary medicine.
I told my bowmen that I would pay anytime they need to get some practice in at the course.
They’re free range archers now.
What do you call a killing before yoga practice?
Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”
Son; “Go on, then.”
Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son; “That’s Superman.”
Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
Making pennies is very practical...
My son had a rough time at little league practice - after striking out three times, he lost interest and wouldn’t stop smelling the dandelions in the outfield, getting one stuck in his nose.
I’m not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks.
It helps me speak boulder.
My boss wants me to sign up for a 401K...
I’m not sure how he expects anyone to run that far!!!
My army instructor told me he didn’t see me at camouflage practice today.
“Thank you, sir!” I replied.
I was pondering some of the practical arts that are dying out like silversmithing and coppersmithing.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
I'm not a dad yet, but I'm practicing for when I am (should be in about 20 years)
Me: "I've been getting better at biking with no hands"
Mum: "That's a handy skill"
Me: "Actually it's a no handy skill"
Everyone keeps telling me to practice social distancing,
but when am I supposed to stop practicing and actually do it?
I had a minor accident at the practice
Accidentally played a major
My son thought males and females were practically the same...
I told him there was a vas deferens.
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
I may not be a dad for a while, but I’m getting some good practice in.
The lawyer always kept losing his cases
He didn't mind cause he was practicing
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?
A queen went travelling to a foreign land. She asked her two ladies in waiting to clean for each other while she was gone, so they wouldn't be out of practice when she got back. When she returned, the two had fallen in love and gotten married.
They were maid for each other.
What do you call sick highschoolers who practice social distancing?
I was having trouble playing a song on guitar and my teacher said "practice to a tick"
It didn't work at all and now I have Lyme disease
what was the veterinary arrested for
I created a punny discord
So I wanted to learn puns, but I didn't find any good discord server where you could meat with people and practice or learn new puns, so I decided to create such a server where we can all hopefully learn how to pun. If you would like to join here's a link: https://discord.gg/hVBqM7hn9r
Wife: Remember to practice safe snacks and to use condiments
Me: Baby stop, you’re making me hungry
What type of practice is Dr. Pepper?
My neighbour banged on my door at 3am, screaming and shouting hysterically, the poor fella..
Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time..
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery
Because it didn't habanero
Why couldn't the Green Pepper practice Archery?
because it didn't habanero
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?
. . . because it didn't habanero!
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