Nj Puns

Today, I went out to lunch with some fellas from my office, Dave and Mike.

We all opted for the "beer and sandwich deal": any beer < $6 and any sandwich from the lunch menu for $10. Can't beat that in Hoboken, NJ.

One of my coworkers ordered a Sam Adams something-or-other and our bouncy little waitress pranced off to fetch our beverages. When the waitress returned with our potables she placed a beer, amber in color, 1/2" or so foamy head, in front of my coworker and said:

"Sam?"

To which I immediately announced "No, that's Dave."

Laughs were had all around. I cringed at myself but I couldn't help it.

https://imgur.com/XwQbpNJ.jpg

Driving past the Budweiser factory in Newark, NJ:

Me: "I should get a job there"

Her: "Yeah, sounds like a great job. You would be really smart if you worked there."

Me: "Wait, what?"

Her: "Bud worked there and they named the beer after how wise be became."

We're from NJ (he's been here his entire life). That part of the turnpike is how we get our bad name (smells, industrial, crime).

Every single time we drive through Elizabeth he proclaims, WHO'S ELIZABETH AND WHY SHE SMELL SO BAD?! followed by many self induced chuckles.

So I was talking with my father about how a package that should have been delivered on Friday hadn't come yet, with no updates other than departing a facility in NJ about 30 miles from me on Thursday.

Me: So right now it's trapped in the USPS abyss between here and NJ

Dad: How abyssmal!