Hoboken Puns

I saw Janeane Garofalo at 718 Beauty Bar this weekend. Who's the last celebrity you've seen here?

I just moved to Hoboken a week ago. I was driven out of my apartment today by the noise of a saxophone player on the corner. While I was out, I figured I would find someone who could explain the Hoboken parking regulations and tell me if Shake Shack was still closed.

As I set out on my journey, I noticed someone fail to clean up their dog's feces, so I pulled out my phone to take a picture of the bastard. As I was lining up the perfect shot of the unattended doggie dung, a guy on a CitiBike nearly clipped me as he rode on the sidewalk. Normally, I would vent my frustrations on Reddit, but today's straw was the one that broke this Redditor's back. I had enough. The mayor had to hear about this!

With righteous indignation, I made my way to city hall to confront the mayor. As I passed numerous inefficiently parked cars and a CitiBike station that robbed our city of two parking spots, my frustration grew like kudzu. Finally, teary eyed with grief over the loss of the two parking spots to CitiBike, I made it up to the mayor's office. I furiously knocked on the door to the mayor's office----eager to do my part to save our fair city. Mayor Bhalla opened the door, and before he could say a word, I proudly and passionately voiced my, nay, OUR grievances.

When I finished my fiery speech, I waited in silence for his response. The seconds of silence felt like weeks, but the pride I felt in having uttered truth to power made the silence bearable. Finally, Mayor Bhalla's stunned look began to fade as he gained composure. I was preparing for his inevitable deflection of the issue. I wasn't going to be won over by his "appreciation" of my "thoughtful citizenship." No, I wanted solutions.

Suddenly, the mayor cleared his throat. He was about to speak! The winds of change were about to blow through our city! My focus shifted to his lips, then he spoke...... "Move to the suburbs."

Thanks, Bhalla!

------Inspired by the incessant whining of r/Hoboken

Are there just gonna be a bunch of fairies that set up the stations and bikes overnight, and tomorrow will be like Christmas morning?

He refused. Apt only going for $550k. Stupid humans

needed some tacos in my life tonight and had to choose between taqueria downtown and hoboken burrito. I love taqueria dt but felt bad for the delivery dude… so went for hoboken burrito. Never tried it, but it has 1400+ ratings at 5 ⭐️ while taqueria dt is like 4.5

still waiting for the delivery so… is it really that good?

It's almost summer and that means it's almost pool season. I have some questions about the Hoboken pool scene...

Here are the apartments that have pools that I know of:

7 Seventy House

1400 Hudson

Avalon

The Harlow

Park and Garden

1100 Maxwell Lane

N&S Independence (Shipyard)

Sky Club

Sovereign (Shipyard)

Stevens University (indoor)

The Vine

Questions:

Which pool is the best (size, sunlight, no kids, etc)?

Which pools allow residents to bring guests?

Which pools have best/worst security (is it easy for non-residents to sneak in)?

Any other pros/cons worth mentioning about any of the above pools?

Thanks

Loud out there tonight.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Hoboken/comments/nettwg/pulled_neck_muscle

My job is right by the GWB so i figured there could be some rush hour traffic but is it doable? I would be commuting by car unless public transportation is easier.

Happy Easter Sunday to those who are celebrating today! My husband (29) and I (28) just moved to 7 Seventy House in Hoboken from out of the country and would love to get to know people in the area! We have friends in the city but really don’t know anyone in this area. My husband is starting his medical residency in July and I’ll be commuting into Manhattan for work. Once our quarantine period is over we’d love to socially distance meet people, maybe go for a walk and check out the different neighborhoods. I’ve seen a few posts like this on this subreddit and everyone seems super friendly!

A little bit of background for us: I’m Latina, my husband is British. We both love live music, going out on weekends, restaurants, and working out. He’s a drummer and loves sports (especially basketball). I’m a UX/UI designer and love the arts, reading, and reality TV (if you’re into that!). I’d love to meet ladies in the area as my partner will be working crazy hours.

Anyway if any of this sounds up your alley feel free to message me, or if you have any recommendations for places to meet people in the area that would be awesome!

Hi everyone, I am considering moving to Hoboken or Jersey City. My office is in midtown East and am wondering where in Hoboken would be ideal for the commute. For those who work in NYC, why did you choose to live in Hoboken vs JC? Also if you have any guidance on which areas to avoid/seek for that would be great! I work in banking so my hours are very long and will have to work every weekend so preferably somewhere not to loud. Thank you!!!

Sometimes I feel like the RPA doesn't use logic too... good luck boring through Manhattan Schist

The only one around is planet fitness and retro. Planet fitness is full on trash and Retro is semi trash but acceptable although now it’s also overrun with people. The next options are boutique places that are unusually expensive, crunch, and that’s about it. Let’s get a blink here, or something just in between accessible. Steven’s should reopen their facilities. I miss having a barbell rack open.

Ugh. End rant

Has anyone else tried this? I was impressed when I ordered food from them last week.

This is an extremely personal suggestion ask- but does anyone have any names of therapists in the area you may recommend? Tia.

Hudson County’s second Whole Foods Market is expanding its second operation to Hoboken.

“This is an important piece of the overall puzzle as we continue to create what we believe is the region’s premier city to live, work, shop, dine and play destination,” said Mayor Ravi Bhalla. “Public amenities and services are an important part of that formula, and adding a Whole Foods Market store to our city will go a long way to serving not only the residents of our community, but all future residential projects, commercial employees and greater Hoboken.”

Originally called "365 by Whole Foods" is the company’s newest concept. Occupying a smaller footprint than a standard store and ideal for urban settings, the concept “offers the highest quality products at everyday low prices in a simple, convenient format.” This Hoboken store will be the company’s second Whole Foods Market location in New Jersey, with the first store opening in Weehawken in 2019.

“Whole Foods Market is proud of our long history in the New York City area and we are proud to bring our 365 store to Hudson County,” said Christina Minardi, president of Whole Foods Market’s Northeast Region. “Our 365 stores deliver the same quality that our customers have come to expect, but in a convenient and fun new format that provides exceptional value and Happy April Fools."

I’ve seen subs implode when modding is inconsistent and done off-the-cuff like what’s happening in r/Hoboken. Those mods better get their act together or we’re about to get more company, which I welcome with open arms.