On the other hand i am ok
Don't worry. He eventually got into the swing of things.
They would have called him Kilometers Morales.
Bath oβ Mets
The sign said it was 25 miles. That's a HUGE rest area!
He's on his way to shoot the first episode of a new TV show, but security gave him trouble when they asked why he was going to NY. He said "I'm going to shoot a pilot".
They could call it "Pho-get About It!"
http://imgur.com/ddYc44E
He wanted a picture with him so i asked the guy if he allowed Flash photography...
Three brothers are trick or treating near a shady house. Suddenly, a spider appears on the first brothers arm causing him to scream in shock. This causes the second brother to run away in fear only to get hit over the head by a dead tree branch. The third brother tries to escape but trips over a coffin. Filled with fright, the three brothers decide to go back home before they are stopped by a ghost that informs them, βThe items you have encountered today will kill you in exactly 20 years.β and vanishes into thin air. Understandably, the three brothers were terrified out of their wits and ran back to their house.
20 years later on Halloween, the first brother has booby trapped and spider-proofed his entire house. Unfortunately, he accidently runs into a wall causing a black widow to fall on his arm and killing him.
The second brother has prepared for many years and made sure that he was nowhere near any trees. However, he somehow miscalculated by one day and was killed when a lightning bolt struck a tree causing it to fall and crush him.
The third brother completely forgot about the ghostβs warning and was having dinner with his wife. His allergies were really acting up that night, so he decided to go to a pharmacy to purchase some allergy medicine. Suddenly, without any warning, the entire store goes dark and a giant coffin appears in front of him, opens up, and starts moving towards him. Remembering his frightful Halloween over 20 years ago, the brother starts desperately throwing everything in sight towards the coffin but to no avail. Now there is nothing else left other than a lone bottle of NyQuil. In one last brave attempt, the brother throws the bottle of NyQuil at the coffin and it miraculously vanishes.
Because NyQuil keeps the coffinβ away.
Crow-nies.
Itβs been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you canβt possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
letβs not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
Itβs just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
NyQuill
Because they all wore signs saying "To NY."
He de-nyed me.
I was at my favorite store shopping for a good NY Strip for dinner. I thought they were all out but I saw that someone had stashed two on the top of the shelf just out of reach.
I was going to take a chance and climb up to get them, but the steaks were too high.
I'll walk myself out.
Several years ago, a bunch of college friends were visiting me in NY during Columbus Day weekend. My parents offer to drive us into NYC, and on the way my father points out a huge cemetery. "Hey, do you know who's buried there?" My father asked. "Who?" We all asked excitedly. "Dead people." Cue collective groans and "God damnit..."
I rode down to the beach today with my son, my husband, and my husband's best friend. We drove past a cemetery when ny hubby said "I can't be buried in that cemetery." I asked him why not, and he told me "because I'm not dead." Many sighs were had.
iΒ·roΒ·ny
ΛΔ«rΙnΔ/
noun: irony
The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite,
typically for humorous or emphatic effect.
I was driving on the highway towards Buffalo, NY with my dad, and we passed a small car that said "Buffalo Transportation." I said to my dad, "There's no way they can transport any buffalo in that thing."
My parents are heading up to NY on vacation together. We have a group text that has my parents, my wife and I, my brother and his fiancee, and my sister. All day, half the family has been traveling for either work of vacation, so there have been a lot of texts about when people have boarded their flights or landed at their layovers of destinations. After 2 hours without any texts, here are the latest two texts we all got:
Mom: We got to NY!
Dad: Glad to hear it!
(remember, they're traveling together. Oy)
We're talking about actors and he goes "hear about that poor actress who was recently stabbed in NY?....Reese....Reese...." Stupidly I reply "Witherspoon!?"
He happily proclaims: "No! With a Knife!"
I was playing Scrabble with ny grandmother, and she had 88 points. I only had 34, and said "You're at 88, and I'm not even 40!" She said "You'll be 40 in a matter of years."
You know the animal, the Buffalo, it has 4 feet.
Works best if you live in Upstate NY like we do.
I was showing my wife and sister in law this video of a girl that had painted pants on and walked through NY. At the end it showed a close up of the front and you couldn't even tell it was a bare vagina, it just looked like jeans. My wife shakes her head and says "That's nuts!" And without skipping a beat my SIS says "no, I'm pretty sure that's a vagina".
Driving from NY to North Carolina. Listening to rock and electronic music.
Mom: This is perfect gym music.
Dad: Jim? He likes country better.
Riding in the car in upstate NY with my cousin; spotted a deer on the side of the road.
Me: "Deer!" Him: "Yes honey?"
It's been years and I still groan about it.
On my trip to college, I have to take Rt. 17 in NY. As some of you may know, the road goes past a town called Deposit.
Dad: Look we're in Deposit! I hope you brought your cans!
Also, there is town called Bath that we drive through.
Dad: Did you take a shower this morning, or do we need to stop here?
Every freakin' trip.
