Making Pizza Sauce makes me nervous...
I canβt deal with strained tomatoes
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 24 2021
I was really scared when I started as a pilot. I looked down nervously and said: "What are all these buttons for?"
The co-pilot said: "They keep your shirt closed."
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 18 2021
My first date, I nervously asked my date whether she eats circular dough baked in an oven...
She replied, "that's none of your biscuit!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 17 2021
A man was very nervous just before his vasectomy...
...so to stall, he asked the doctor if he preferred to start with the left testicle or the right, to which the doctor replied, I donβt think thereβs a vas deferens.
π︎ 135
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower ?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Apr 29 2021
What did the nervous mailman get diagnosed with?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
Men with tattoos used to make people nervous...
Now they make them lattes.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I always get so nervous about the new year.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
why are skeletons so calm
cause nothing gets under their skin ah ah ah ah ah ah
π︎ 36
π
︎ May 07 2021
On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, βWhat are all these buttons for?β
βThey are to keep your shirt done upβ he replied.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
My pregnant neighbor was really nervous when the woman who was to assist her in labor was stuck in traffic.
She was having a midwife crisis.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
I got a new tablet computer but I'm nervous every time I use it.
I guess you could say I have Surface tension.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
What did the upright bass say to the nervous guitar?
βYouβre too high strung, donβt fret.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.
The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that itβs completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΞΏΜ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
My guitar neck got nervous
I said βdonβt fretβ
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
Why do people get nervous around stoned beef?
Because the steaks are high.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
Alittle bit nervous
π︎ 236
π
︎ Dec 31 2019
My wife is nervous about having to talk to strangers on a cruise we are about to take.
I said, βDonβt worry. We are all in the same boat.β
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 28 2018
I signed up for my companyβs 401k
But Iβm nervous because Iβve never ran that far before.
π︎ 45
π
︎ May 08 2021
My anatomy class is covering the nervous system and I don't get any of this stuff.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 27 2020
My son recently got casted as a sheep in a play but was nervous about forgetting his lines
I said "Son you're just feeling sheepish"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
I get so nervous during earthquakes,
that I start shaking uncontrollably.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
I thought I might have a parasite so I sprayed my self with a cheap bug bomb.
Now all I have to show for it is a nervous tick.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 06 2021
A man had a nervous breakdown at a Mexican restaurant
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
Why was the pastry chef nervous about making 100 cakes in a day?
It was a high whisk situation
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
William is nervous about his life prospects
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
π︎ 45
π
︎ May 03 2021
My friend used to get so nervous that he peed his pants every time he had to stand up in his third grade class.
Finally he quit his job as a teacher.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Scientists found that the nervous system doesn't actually exist.
It's just a lack of the confidence system.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
Iβm so nervous
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
Why was the cheese nervous about the taste test?
Because he knew heβd be grated.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
The nervous system
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
When my uncle died, he left me an apartment building he owned, but I was really nervous about taking it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
What do you say to a nervous mortician?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
I'm really nervous about this bug-eating contest
I've got butterflies in my stomach.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 22 2020
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
Why did the plate look nervous?
It was feeling skit-dish.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 24 2020
Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?
He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower ?
π︎ 111
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, βWow! What are all these buttons for?β
He said, βThey are used to keep your shirt closed.β
π︎ 11
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
What shivers at the bottom of the ocean?
π︎ 90
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 151
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
I get so nervous with earthquakes
that I start shaking uncontrollably
π︎ 44
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 12 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
