Necklacing Puns

It was an accessory to murder

It was not only easy on the eyes, but it was also good for the eyes, too.

I thought “wow, that’s pretty metal.”

I wanted her to be strong and independent

He was independant.

People who are can’t wear one.

This juulry has gotten out of hand

The I. C. U.

Also known as indie pendants day

an artichoker

You go on ahead, I’ll hang around.

An indi-pendant

If you're neck-less

I am now Independent.

She said, "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace!"

So I bought her . . . nothing.

It was a chain reaction

String cheese.

>Me: That necklace suits you because you're so wise.

>Wife: It suits me because I'm a hoot!

groans. So good it hurts.

Would you have a Decoration of Indie Pendants?

My friend's dad passed away earlier this year, but pulled off a spectacular dad joke at his funeral. One of the songs he requested was 'here comes the sun' by the beetles...

...to be played as his son approached the front of the church to deliver his speech.

RIP David.

"I like your necklace! That style is timeless."

I just purchased and presented her with a fancy Octopus-shaped necklace, and to my utter dismay, I discovered it only had seven legs... "WTF, it's a Septopus?!"

Seeing I was obviously upset, she just smiled and replied, "I still like it, don't be an Upset-topus"...

I'm so proud of her right now.

She said: "I need to find a necklace to tie these shoes together"

Me: "You should really use the laces for that"

While perusing a large collection of jewelry at the store -

Clerk - "Can I help you?"

Dad - "I wan't to get my wife of 12 years something nice." Gestures towards the wide banded necklaces in the case

Clerk - "Do you want a choker?"

Dad - Pauses, smiles and says "Only when she's acting up."

A nice necklace and earrings to go with it.

My daughter was straightening up a pile of stuff in the kitchen, and picked up a small blue empty decorative box. "What's this?" she asked.

Ever the dad, of course I answered, "It's a box..."

She rolled her eyes and said, "No, Dad, what's it from?" But it didn't end there.

She handed the box to me and I started speculating that it looked about the size of box for a watch. Then Mom said she thought it was from a necklace I had given her for Mother's Day.

Just to be clear, Mom had sent me an e-mail "hint" in the form of a link to order the necklace, so being a dutiful hubby, I ordered it. She caught the package in the mail as soon as it arrived and opened it right away, several days before Mother's Day. So I had never even seen the box. No wonder I couldn't identify it. Just saying.

Meanwhile I was turning the box over in my hand and noticed a little gold sticker on a corner of the box. I handed the box back to my daughter and said, "Here, read the sticker."

She took the box back and looked at the sticker. It said, "BOX, Made in China."

I said, "See? I was right." She threw the box at me.

He was going through my box of strange things and had some interesting commentary.

Found an owl ring, asked, "Do people ever ask who gave it to you?"

Saw that my butterfly necklace was broken, asked, "Does that bug you?"

Was giving me tic tacs out of a container, gave me four and I said I only wanted two. "Sorry guys, guess it just wasn't mint to be."

He chuckled at himself for awhile after these.

We decided to give beer necklaces to my friends who are graduating, when she said,

"We can write, 'BUD, you're WEISER'". I could do nothing but admit defeat and give her the dadjoke crown...for now.

People who are can’t wear one.

Also known as indie pendants day.

She said to me "nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace."

So I bought her nothing