I ran into my nephew yesterday and said, “Wow! You must have grown a foot since I saw you last.”
He said, “Nope. Still have two.”
I must have shown up late to the Kleptomanic Conference.
All the seats were already taken.
COVID must have a lot of followers now,
Cory Booker must have a hidden family somewhere...
... If he's out there using dadjokes like this: https://i.imgur.com/R6WrI5t.jpg
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
If you’ve heard of Murphy’s Law you must have heard of Cole’s law
... it’s shredded cabbage
Edit: I personally hate coleslaw and thought it was made of lettuce.
Must have been dissapointing
The ocean must have really bad social anxiety.
It never says hi. It just waves
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
The architect of Big Ben must have been exhausted
They were working around the clock
Boy. I bet Anakin Skywalker must have paid a lot of money for his suit.
I think It may have cost him a couple arms and a couple legs.
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
This guy must have a lot of SPACE to make this pun
I must have 10 New Order records but I only ever seem to play one of them.
I have a serious Substance abuse problem
When I want a sauna I must have the whole thing to myself.
I have selfish steam issues.
Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...
They’re always getting roasted!
In order to have a murder of crows, there must be probable caws.
It must have been paintful
Dad: “Those siamese twins must have a great relationship.”
Me: “why’s that?”
Dad: “because they’re joined at the hip.”
Saw this on instagram, he must have time to kill
My husband walked into the proctologists office, and I knew then that the doctor must have a child as well when I heard the words from the other side of the door,
You must have been born upside down
Because your nose runs and your feet smell
You all must have heard about the man who invented the knock knock joke.
Well, he won the No-bell prize.
They must have an artistic way of doing things
We must have missed the warning sines.
The first person to farm with manure must have been seen as crazy
They probably had to explain their bullshit
I was talking to a friend the other day, he said to me "wow it must be nice to have big hands"
"Yeah, it comes in handy" I replied.
That little girl must have had a long day because she looks bushed
Must have been high on coke.
Some heel must have started it.
Must have been really board standing all day.
Salmon must have a good data plan...
They are always streaming
It must be terrifying to have the last name Hall this season.
Everyone's out there trying to Deck the Halls.
That desert heat must have started getting to the sign makers
Running a Mayan school must have been difficult
After all you had to make sure the kids didn't sacrifice their principals.
Soleimani must have been a pretty important guy...
Medusa must not have any trouble getting men hard
My friend must have been deafened by all the noise at the fish market...
You had to yell when you spoke to him; he was hard of herring.
What must a witty perfume have?
“My goodness, you must have grown a foot since I last saw you!”
—-Doctor, seeing a patient again at Chernobyl.
The amount of work put into this must have been TIREing
My wife drops me off in front of a restaurant in our Land Rover. Another patron notices the car and says, “That must have been an expensive uber.”
To which I replied: “tell me about it. I’ve been with her for 20 years.”
The guy who coined the term "lisp" must have been a sadist.
I saw my nephew after a long time, and said “Wow! You must have grown a foot since I saw you last!”
He said, “No. I still have two.”
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