You can’t ketchup
Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.
Worst french fries I've ever had.
Because they always bring doubloons!
C
I'm serious, it's kneaded.
Gravy.
Is petroleum now an essential oil?
A pandemic without dem would lead to Panic
I proceeded to smell my arm pit, “yup I’d say so!”
And now I have a case of the vapors
Me : ohh...um...you know... As a computer engineer I hate bugs.
Collared Greens
They are key workers
They fired all Naan essential staff.
Should have cooked it at aloha temperature
Once you've seen one, you've seenamel
Because he follows an agree-culture with his wife
... "When you've seen one, you've seen a mall."
^((Source: Kiplinger Magazine, 1974)^)
Nope. There's a vas deferens.
(For those who skipped HS Biology - NSFW)
I mean it’s all italian to me.
I mean he's essentially a giant banner
I am having an eggs essential crisis.
I took my dog called Pilky (named after Karl Pilkington) for a walk in the park. We stopped for a minute so he could have some fun in the grass, when this girl walks by.
Her: What a cutie
Me: Thanks, I just had a new haircut.
She gives me a puzzled look when suddenly she gets it.
She: that's funny.
Me: No, that's Pilky.
All nun essential staff are gone.
It's about essential oil people dying from preventable diseases. It's titled "The Seventh Scents"
They got rid of all their neon essential employees.
Their method for hunting polar bears was the most interesting. They would start a fire out on a deep snow bank, and essentially melt a hole in the snow. Once the hole was big enough they would stop feeding it firewood and let it burnout on its own. Once the fire had gone down and was nothing more than smoldering ashes with a little bit of smoke, they would line the edge of the fire pit with snow peas.
All they had to do from there is hide and wait. Once a bear caught scent of the smoke and starts to investigate, the bear would eventually start eating some of the peas. Then they sneak up behind it and kick it in the ash-hole.
I know this isn't strictly a Dad joke, but I feel it is in the spirit of the thing. My dad is getting is getting his leg amputated in January. Essentially he has no cartilage in his ankle, and it causes him severe pain all the time. He has an amazing sense of humor, so I wanted to get him a gift basket of foot-based things. So far I have: -fruit by the foot -Happy Feet -Footloose -an Ihop gift card -pack of tube socks (since now he gets 2 for 1) -Bologna (because his amputation is below knee) -a card saying congrats on the weight loss -all put inside of a stocking
What other foot based pun items would you include in the gift basket?
He's essentially a large banner
...is necessary, critical and essential.
Hope you can handle it.
They fired all Naan essential staff.
He's essentially a giant banner
....I mean, he is essentially a giant banner.
He is essentially a giant banner.
He’s essentially a giant Banner
