Worked my grass off.
The top.
He just didnβt cut it.
He had no idea he had started a turf war.
He just couldn't cut it.
βWhy?β she asked.
βBecause thatβs what makes it beautiful.β
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
Time to baguette.
DAD: "Man, I am dizzy from mowing the lawn"
ME: "Drink some water and lay down, it's hot out there!"
DAD: "Go look at the lawn" wink
He mowed the lawn in a giant circle pattern... The circumferences that man will go for a joke
β’ you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.
β’ you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure youβll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.
β’ you change your carβs oil exactly every 2,000 miles.
β’ mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.
β’ you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.
β’ your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.
...I just couldnβt cut it π€¨
Son : Please don't Dad: Now hes Lawn gone
Told my wife, "I hope I don't have any flash backs to Bee-ietnam"
My stuff is out on the street
She said: "Stop beating around the bush and get to it!"
It was very much gay mower
Iβm afraid that wonβt cut it.
I had to cut it short.
They have a rough job.
βWow!β I said. βWas it some big corporation?β
βNo.β He replied, βI mowed the lawn in the cemetery.β
βIβd like to be that rich one dayβ. Says Billy.
βWhat, buy new turf?β Asks Shamus.
βNo, send my grass away to be mowedβ. Replies Billy.
Cleanup is a breeze.
I didn't realize I was cutting it close.
it was mow-stly complete
My dad shouted at me from the balcony and said "If you cut off your legs mowing that lawn, don't you come running to me".
Multiple tornado warnings in south central Wisconsin where I live and my dad's first response is "We better not have a tornado. I just mowed the lawn, I don't want my house's debris all over it."
I just wasnβt cutting it.
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.
Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'
Cause they're free of charge
A young man named James came to tend to the lawn at the beach house.
He was mowing in a circular fashioned around the yard and though he attempted to do the rest by hand, he didnβt fare very well.
I supposed you could call it a quasi-mowed O.
A mow-hawk
While I was putting away the lawnmower right as the sun was setting.
"Daddy, good thing you mowed fast, or it would be dark!"
"That's right honey, I never could have finished if I moved in slow-mow"
My wife threw a tomato at me from the garden.
Neighbor Dad 2: Thatβs on a need to mow basis.
Me: Baking a cake this morning. Husband coming in from mowing: OMG how did it get to be 3:50 already!
Protesters surrounded the building shouting: "Re-member the Al who mowed!"
This thing...? Yeah, it flies! It's a Mowing 747.
He tractor down.
It was blind mowing.
Dad: Take my advice ...
...I'm not using it βββββββββββββββ
Every time my step Dad comes up with a foolproof solution..
along comes a more-talented fool
..dad
βββββββββββββββ
When I married Ms. Right...
I had no idea her first name was Always.
βββββββββββββββ
My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test
The other two guys managed to jump out of her way.
βββββββββββββββ
He who laughs last
...thinks slowest.
βββββββββββββββ
Women sometimes make fools of men
...but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
βββββββββββββββ
I was going to give her the nasty look
..but she already had one.
βββββββββββββββ
Change is inevitable
...except from a vending machine.
βββββββββββββββ
The grass may be greener on the other side
...but at least you don't have to mow it.
- [ ]
Prepare to have your blinds mowed.
so I pointed and said "Where everybody knows your mane."
I'm coming up with "punny names" for 3 different services. Yard work, Babysitting, and dogwalking. So far, all I have is "Patty O's lawn mowing service"
I need two of each. Thanks!
"Man, I wish I was that rich, where I could just send my lawn away to be mowed!"
Ya know that mouthwatering hunger you get when you smell the meat cooking on the BBQ. I wonder if vegetarians get the same feeling when they mow the lawn.
