Their wifi password is " our40yrsoldbaby", i mean come on I'm 45.
ARkansas.
That’s a whisk I’m willing to take!
His dad's jokes were unBEARable
It was inn-appropriate.
There wasn't mushroom
They tried swapping the rulers for erasers but it remained stationary.
Because there was no space
Because they heard that she made cookies out of molasses.
They didn't want to wait 40 years for a train.
It's house got forklosed on.
I guess I chose the lessor of two evils.
It has pacific neighbours.
Me: Dad, do you need these?
Dad (with a shit-eating grin): YES! In fact, I was going to put them in the bank. Then it would be a pole vault!
Bonus rebuttal! My husband (not a dad): Look, do you want us to help you or not?
I'm moving out of my dorm room this morning to go home for the summer, and my dad is up to give me a hand. There's an elevator that we're taking so I don't have to take my cart down the stairs, and we're packed in with five or six other people. One of them looks at the wall of the elevator and notices that somebody has written "Hannah" on it, and says "What was Hannah doing in here?"
Me: "Writing on the wall, from the looks of things."
Other person: "Well, can't argue with that."
My dad: "So you're saying you can see the Hannah writing on the wall?"
All: groan
I replied "You're getting me a fireplace?!"
Me: So i heard you shifted house? Friends dad: Yeah, it was a moving experience.
We both laughed in hysterics for about 5 mins.
It's ok the rest are still tenants
