It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
Sales are down, so my boss asked why the greeting cards aren't moving
I told him it's because they are stationary
“Dad, did you remember to move the clocks forward last night?”
‘Yeah, but they fell off the shelf.”
I went to a wedding that was so moving everyone was crying.
Even the cake was in tiers.
What do cowboys use to move from state to state?
did you hear that portobello moved away?
He couldn't stand his shroommates
But maybe it's for better. His new apartment is way shroomier
I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"
I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.
What do you get if you don’t move a single muscle all week?
I'd really like to move to Switzerland one day
I hear the flag's a real plus.
I was thinking of the benefits of moving to Switzerland
While I was gardening a potato was watching me and criticizing my every move. He thought he was big stuff.
But I think he was just a commontater
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
My dad moved in some very mysterious circles.
He had one leg shorter than the other.
What do you call a spider with outdated dance moves?
When I moved into my new igloo, my awesome friends threw me a surprise house-warming party...
What do you say when your stationary bin starts moving?
Laying on the grass...”two tired”...to move
I just learned the past tense of remove!
There are many perks to moving to Switzerland...
People ask me why the notepad on my desk never moves
I tell them it’s stationary
I have designed a way to combine cell phone and moving stair technologies. Want to know what it’s called?
Tellulater.
I had to pull of the road to post this cause I’ve been laughing at myself for the last 5 miles.
Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
How does an avocado move?
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
my friend moved into an igloo
everything was going well until the housewarming party
What do you call the 2nd richest man, when he moves to Mexico?
I asked some clams to help me move but all they wanted to do was sit there and breathe seawater.
I told them they were just being shellfish.
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?
Gnomads.
(I'm not a dad but I came up with this one last year and have been dying to share it.)
I was really moved when I realized my mother let me win at cards.
It meant a great deal to me.
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.
I told him he was in deNile.
I got hired to paint someone’s home.
I charged for the labor but not the paint. The homeowner said, “why didn’t you charge for the paint?” I said, “don’t worry about the paint. It’s on the house.”
I'm thinking of opening a bar where everyone insults everyone else while moving to the music...
I think my idea of social diss dancing would go over well!
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
Not to brag, but I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?
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