Arctic monkeys puns.
(Me and my dad in the car listening to "I wanna be yours" by the Arctic monkeys.)
Lead singer: "I wanna be your vacuum cleaner"
(We look at each other in confusion)
Me: did he just say he wants to be her vacuum cleaner?
Dad: that just really suck.
-_-
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
Did you know that Americans eat more bananas than monkeys every year?
Which makes sense, because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What's a monkey's favourite TV show?
Thomas the Orangu-Tank Engine!
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
What do you call a monkey with a hand grenade?
What do you call a monkey that cant get into his house?
Did you heard about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
What do you call a monkey that loves chips?
What do you call a monkey caught in a knot?
Two monkeys are sat in the bath. One says "oooh oooh aah aah"
The other says "well put some more cold in then"
What did the old man tell the monkey that dropped a bar of gold ?
What's the difference between a poorly dressed monkey on a tricycle and a well-dressed monkey on a bicycle?
There were two monkeys sitting in the bath
One says to the other: 'oooooo eeeeee oooooo aaaaa'
The other says: 'put the cold tap on then!'
What did the monkey say when his tail got ran over?
Where do monkeys go to get drunk?
Two monkeys in a bath one said ohh ohh ahh ahh and the other one said
Ok ok I will put some cold in then
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
The weirdest summer job I have ever had was cleaning the monkey cages at our local zoo.
What do you Call a monkey slut?
She belongs to the streets
Did you know monkeys could talk
It’s just every time you ask them a question they are either too excited “Ooh Ooh” or nervous “Uhh Uhh” to ever finish their thought.
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.....
And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
EDIT: Thanks kind stranger for the gold!!
A monkey asks another how does he have sex.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
How do u get a one-armed monkey down from a coconut tree?
A zoo has 27 monkeys.
This zoo has 10 more birds than monkeys. How many birds does it have?
Birdy-seven.
(Courtesy of my six-year-old son. I've never been so proud.)
I usually can’t use monkey bars
But I’m getting the hang of it
If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
Why the monkey put a steak on his head?
He thought he was a grilla.
What do you call chopped up monkey parts?
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Today I learnt that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
In 2015 we ate over 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys.
Did you know people eat more bananas than monkeys?
I mean, when is the last time you ate a monkey?
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
Today I found out that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
This surprised me, as I don't recall the last time I ate a monkey
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
The weirdest job I ever had was cleaning the monkey cage at our local zoo.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
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