I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work,

But it was a whisk I was willing to take.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TalisEgg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Breaking news, plice van crashes into cement mixer

A police van carrying 12 convicts crashed into a cement mixer.

Police are now looking for a dozen hardened criminals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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A cement mixer collided with a prison bus today

Police have told locals to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J96x_Rob_LFC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
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Yestarday I saw a commercial for a friendly robot mixers.

Now that's what I call Artificial in-telly gents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kantoros1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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Why does a concrete mixer truck only have 1 seat?

So the driver knows where to sit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amd20555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?

King Koncrete.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Featric
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2017
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They should have singles mixers at soccer games.

It's a great place to find a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseBeSerious
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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New mixer for my DJ Setup imgur.com/ty4MMN4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxymoron7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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It’s The
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cparara1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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My mother-in-law says I should bury myself in my work.

I don't think she likes me — I drive a cement mixer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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I Dad-Joked my Dad while baking a cake

Dad: Shouldn't we get the mixer out to make the batter? Mine: Nah. Let's whisk it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fancynerrd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
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I've still got it!

My wife received a renowned mixer for Christmas. Today, she asked me to put some things in the kitchen. My response,

"Sure. Looks like after all this time you still need a...kitchen aide."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lithedreamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work....

But it was a whisk I was willing to take.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?

Quacks in the pavement.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A cement mixer crashed into a police van carrying 12 criminals

The police are now looked for a dozen hardened criminals

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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I know I shouldn't steal a mixer from work,

But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/officialmrkiller
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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I've made a lot of my best friends through chemistry puns.

I've found that making them with people is usually a great bonding experience.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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