I recently started on the Metric Diet...
It has been great, I went from 218lbs to 99 kg over night.
Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?
Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.
What do you get when you convert a pound cake recipe to metric?
My girlfriend left me because I became too obsessed with the metric system.
I should have seen it coming from a kilometer away.
In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble.
In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.
My friend wanted me to meet someone so I could learn about the metric system.
I said I didn’t want to meter.
Stop kink shaming America for not using metric.
We have a foot fetish. Grow up
Americans will never switch to the metric system
It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
My wife was trying a new recipe in metric, and needed to know how much butter to use....
so I clarified it for her.
The Trojan war between the Greeks and Troy was really fought over the whether to adopt the metric or imperial system of measurement.
Why else would Achilles ride around shouting "Hectare, Hectare"
If America switched to the metric system,
it would become Ametrica.
Highly Educated people are hotter
Because they have more degrees
Did you know Texans use the Metric system?
We measure our distance to the closest BBQ joints in scentimeters
Why don't people in the US use the metric system?
Because they have a foot fetish
Little known fact, the death star was measured in feet...
Only because they wanted to use imperial units
I believe I'm finally getting a hang of this decimal system.
What brand of car do Jedis drive?
What did the Imperial System say to the Metric System?
I used to do drugs in the 90’s.
Now I don’t care what temperature it is.
I recently went to the US and realised there are no centipedes or millipedes,
Turns out they just can’t accept the metric system.
My nickname at work is crescent wrench.
Because I slip off as soon as the work starts.
What is The metric system’s favorite bug?
A centipede. I’m a dad, can confirm
Khan you dig it!?
Gf: (Jokingly) “Genghis Khan is my favorite ruler.”
Me: “No he’s not.”
Gf: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I’m pretty sure he was taller than 12 inches.”
She’s now contemplating whether she sees a future with me or not haha.
My buddy sent me a letter professing his love for feet.
I was disappointed that he was not on board like me with the metric system. I thought my reply would surely convince him to see my side of it so I sent a meter.
We the people... Don't like metric
What do you call an anti-vax babysitter?
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
Imagine if Americans switched from using pounds to kilograms overnight.
There’d be mass confusion.
Our country is about to switch from imperial to metric units.
There will be mass confusion.
Why does the metric system make so many friends with women?
It always wants to meter.
What's a thousand times better than Instagram?
I have a question for people with Only Fans
Why wouldn’t you get an air conditioner instead?
You know the US could switch to the metric system overnight?
But there’d be mass confusion.
Why can't many people move to the metric system?
They are suffering from the agony of de feet.
Why do all nerd prefer the metric system?
I'm in favor of the US converting to the metric system
You could say I'm a pro-grammer.
Adopting the metric system would help make US neighborhoods so much more livable
Under the current Imperial system, every three feet is a new yard
I got a physical yesterday and was stoked to find out I'm in the top 1% of adults!
My blood pressure, weight, cholesterol and lipid levels were all so high doctor told me I'm above 99% of the population in all these metrics.
What would happen if the US suddenly switched to the metric system?
There'd be mass confusion
(Inspiration: https://www.reddit.com/r/monkeyspaw/comments/cy1td0/i_wish_the_usa_would_finally_switch_to_the_metric/eypnk65?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
What album was most vocal about the metric system?
What do you call 2000 pounds of bones?
Asked my wife how many diapers I should get
I love the metric system.
It is better than all other systems by 1.6 kilometres.
Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.
Why do the Americans don't like the metric system?
Because most of them have a foot fetish.
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