I recently started on the Metric Diet...
It has been great, I went from 218lbs to 99 kg over night.
My friend wanted me to meet someone so I could learn about the metric system.
I said I didn’t want to meter.
Stop kink shaming America for not using metric.
We have a foot fetish. Grow up
Americans will never switch to the metric system
It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
The Trojan war between the Greeks and Troy was really fought over the whether to adopt the metric or imperial system of measurement.
Why else would Achilles ride around shouting "Hectare, Hectare"
My wife was trying a new recipe in metric, and needed to know how much butter to use....
so I clarified it for her.
Dad Joke Protip for today
Don't forget the staple: "Sheesh, everybody and their mother is out here today!"
If America switched to the metric system,
it would become Ametrica.
Did you know Texans use the Metric system?
We measure our distance to the closest BBQ joints in scentimeters
Why don't people in the US use the metric system?
Because they have a foot fetish
Little known fact, the death star was measured in feet...
Only because they wanted to use imperial units
What did the Imperial System say to the Metric System?
Today I learned boiling water was really smart.
It has like, 100 degrees.
The ‘Smith and Meth-Son’ - a gun seized from a drug addict
Imagine if Americans switched from using pounds to kilograms overnight.
There’d be mass confusion.
Pi Day confession: I have an obsession with pi.
I know, I know... it's irrational.
What is The metric system’s favorite bug?
A centipede. I’m a dad, can confirm
We the people... Don't like metric
What's a thousand times better than Instagram?
I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
I got a physical yesterday and was stoked to find out I'm in the top 1% of adults!
My blood pressure, weight, cholesterol and lipid levels were all so high doctor told me I'm above 99% of the population in all these metrics.
Why does the metric system make so many friends with women?
It always wants to meter.
Our country is about to switch from imperial to metric units.
There will be mass confusion.
Khan you dig it!?
Gf: (Jokingly) “Genghis Khan is my favorite ruler.”
Me: “No he’s not.”
Gf: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I’m pretty sure he was taller than 12 inches.”
She’s now contemplating whether she sees a future with me or not haha.
Why do all nerd prefer the metric system?
You know the US could switch to the metric system overnight?
But there’d be mass confusion.
Why can't many people move to the metric system?
They are suffering from the agony of de feet.
I'm in favor of the US converting to the metric system
You could say I'm a pro-grammer.
What do you call 2000 pounds of bones?
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.
I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
Adopting the metric system would help make US neighborhoods so much more livable
Under the current Imperial system, every three feet is a new yard
What would happen if the US suddenly switched to the metric system?
There'd be mass confusion
(Inspiration: https://www.reddit.com/r/monkeyspaw/comments/cy1td0/i_wish_the_usa_would_finally_switch_to_the_metric/eypnk65?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
I hear IT people are the main reason the US has not switched to metric
So many people who are pro gram amongst them.
What album was most vocal about the metric system?
I love the metric system.
It is better than all other systems by 1.6 kilometres.
When Americans say “We don’t use the metric system...”
Did you know….
The US has no centipedes or millipedes because it rejects the metric system
Why do podiatrists hate the metric system?
They're in love with feet.
Why was the king only 12 inches tall?
.. because he was a ruler
Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.
Why do the Americans don't like the metric system?
Because most of them have a foot fetish.
Imagine Americans switched from Pound to Kilograms overnight
There would be mass confusion
What would happen if the USA switched from Pounds to Kilograms?
There would be mass confusion
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